I'm passing along a recipe for which I've received accolades, though it came to me from a church friend, Lynn Arnold, who deserves the credit. I've had so many requests for the recipe that I need to get it in print somewhere. This seemed like a great place. Chocolate Chip Cake, really a coffee cake for chocolate lovers, is great for any occasion: Sunday brunch, snacks, dessert, you name it. Enjoy!

CHOCOLATE CHIP CAKE

2 cups flour

1 1/2 cups sugar

2 teaspoons baking powder

1/2 teaspoon baking soda

1/4 teaspoon salt

1 1/3 cups sour cream

2/3 cup margarine or butter

1 teaspoon vanilla

3 eggs

1 package chocolate chips

1/2 cup sugar

1 teaspoon cinnamon

Combine all but the last 3 ingredients. Blend on low for 1 minute; then beat on medium for 3 minutes. Pour half the batter into greased 9x13-inch pan. Combine sugar and cinnamon. Sprinkle half sugar/cinnamon mixture over batter, followed by half bag of the chocolate chips. Repeat. Bake at 350 degrees for 40 minutes.

I often cut pieces and put them in seasonal cupcake liners to make the presentation a bit more festive.

[Comment From donna] 

Do you have feeling in your new breasts?

I have feeling on my breast skin that comes and goes. In talking with my doctor he says that this is a good sign at this point, and that I should expect to have significant skin sensation at the two year mark. I will never regain deep sensation, nor the nipple stimulated link to orgasm again.

The loss of deep sensation is a very frightening aspect prior to a bilateral mastectomy and it requires some psychological preparation. I would recommend counseling if you are facing this procedure, especially if nipple stimulation is an important part of your sexual life. I would recommend counseling throughout this process, regardless of your treatment choices.

Comment From JT:

Is there anything you did NOT want to hear from friends and family during this process?

That is a great question. I did not want to hear anyone else's cancer story. I was still in such disbelief that I had breast cancer that I was not interested in how long someone else has survived since their diagnosis. I also had no patience for advice--everyone's individual needs are so unique--it is exhausting to have to listen to any more information than you already have to.

It is also not a good idea to say that this is "happening for a reason." Sadly, you also have people not only telling you that it is happening for a reason--they will sometimes also tell you what the reason is!

You don't want to hear that you look so good, you must be " doing fine."

That is, don't go up to people and say: "Wow, you look great--you must be doing fine!"  There are so many different levels of well-being that how you look is the least of your concerns at the moment.

People sometimes think that a BC victim will reason this way: since I have to choose between my breasts and my life, it is an easy choice. But even though the choice is clear when put that way, it is not easy. The loss of your breasts and their functions is tremendous.

In talking about this loss, I'd like to recommend the book Breast Cancer Husband, by Marc Silver, as it covers many of the psychological aspects in a very thorough way.

Let me wrap up by saying that breast cancer is a diagnosis that the whole family receives.  If you are a wife and a mom, that is how you will experience and process your illness.

I cannot imagine going through diagnosis, surgery, recovery and treatment without my husband and children and their amazing commitment to me and my well-being. In turn, our friends and family found ways to help support us in very practical ways, while respecting our need for space.

Comment From Amy

I'm in my late thirties, and as I age I know that breast cancer will be affecting my peers, and perhaps me, more and more in the coming years. Can you talk a little bit about reaching out to friends when they have just been diagnosed? What brought you comfort or made you smile during this process?

Good question.  If your friend is diagnosed I would say the first thing is: all you can say is: "I'm sorry."  And really that is all you should say.

You should also think of practical ways to help her and just do them. Don't wait for the call asking for your help. It won't come. Practical things that you can do are: take the kids, get groceries, make a meal, do the laundry when you stop in, and do stop in! If you are really close, offer to help her with her shower, change the sheets on her bed and/or wash and blow dry her hair.

I set up a caringbridge website which allows you (the patient) to share information about your path through your illness with others who are concerned about you.  This helped us to stay in touch with everyone without hours on the phone recounting the same details endlessly.  It also provides an opportunity for people to post feedback and messages, which are often (but not always!) a great encouragement.

Through the website people were able to contact a friend of ours who coordinated the provision of meals. This was a huge help as we attended appointments, dealt with insurance, recovered from surgery, etc. We received meals three to four times a week for about six months. Having cancer is a full time job for the whole family, and life goes on. So while my husband took on taking care of me, dealing with his own emotions, extra household duties--he still had his normally full plate with work and parenting. It is an extremely stressful time.

I called out all of the troops (my friends and family) about two weeks prior to surgery for a big PINK PARTY/ONE LAST WHIRL WITH THE GIRLS PARTY. I had been hibernating while dealing with all of this new information, doctors' appts. and decision-making and I needed to see everyone and let them know that I was going to need them. It was bittersweet and did pull everyone together.

One friend drove me to a full day of appointments (in Philly) a few times and then camped out in my room two days after surgery so Michael could get some fresh air and just a break in general.  She came loaded with magazines and movies--which I was not in any shape to watch or read, but I was able to weeks later.  It meant the world to me to just have her there, spending time with me and then cheering me on as I hobbled down the hall for the first time!  My kids Skyped me from home for the first few days and came to the hospital three days after surgery and that was a definite spirit-lifter. It's all about relationships for me!

Right when I got home from the hospital, my sister made my most favorite comfort food in the universe--New England Clam Chowder--Great Aunt Ivah's recipe. My sister-in-law took me to the mall to shop for a bra--sounds pretty easy, but it wasn't.  You can imagine all of the emotional and physical implications of being in the lingerie department two weeks after a mastectomy--and looking at myself under the freaky dressing room lighting.  She made calls to different stores to see what they had to offer and led the way once we got there.  It was very overwhelming and I never could have done that without her initiative and encouragement.  My other sister-in-law drove me to a track meet to watch the girls compete (on a frigid cold day) and then grilled fish for us for dinner that night--one of our favorites.

Two of my aunts made quilts for me--I was overwhelmed with emotion when I received those in the mail, and even though my aunts are not local and I rarely see them, I really felt the love that went into making those for me--and they triggered great memories as well.  I will admit, I loved each and every floral arrangement I received and I have a huge basket full of cards and letters.  Never underestimate the power of a card--even if you don't know someone very well.  I know it took a lot of guts for my friends to see me because I understand that no ones knows what to say.  It was so encouraging when people put aside their own fears and offered to take a walk with me, or to stay and talk for a few minutes when they dropped off a meal.  It can be very lonely to have cancer, so time is a perfect gift.

My husband arranged for my hairdresser to come to our home two weeks after my surgery. In the middle of March (the doldrums anyway!), she did my highlights, gave me a scalp massage and a very spunky cut--wow, that was the greatest. I was in so much pain, but it felt so wonderful to be pampered in my own home.  A friend sent me a flat of gorgeous purple and yellow pansies, along with a note saying she and her daughter would do the planting!  I loved the days when someone brought lunch over, took a walk with me and just took the time to be with me--it also meant  the world to be able to be honest during these visits--I am not good at pretending.  Several friends took the train with me to Philly for my radiation treatment, and then we would have lunch.  Having to go for treatment every day for 7 weeks got old fast, and it was great to have company once in a while.  My recent experience with Beth Cardwell and her ThinkPinkPhotography put a big smile on my face and more confidence in my step!

I think the best guidance I can give on this is to think about your friend, think about what she values, along with what her challenges are, and try to do something along those lines to make her feel loved.

I've been awake since 2:45 a.m., tossing and turning. Finally, I gave in and got up. I can't sleep and have had several nights like this for the past week or so. I've counted so many sheep I need a new calculator. Even the dog won't get up with me anymore. Several friends are experiencing the same thing: Maybe I'm just a sympathetic insomniac. Or maybe it's the change in seasons. Maybe it's my age -- I think I'm going to deny this one, as I have a birthday next week and it's a big one. Maybe I've got too much on my mind. Maybe I need to get more exercise. Maybe I need to chill (OK, I know this one is a definite.) Maybe I just need a cup of tea and a crossword puzzle.

I hate when I can't sleep because I don't get enough of it as it is. I look up at the ceiling, which I assume is there but can't see because it's way too dark, and listen to the cicadas, or at least I think that's what I'm hearing, and the volume keeps rising, rising, rising until I tell myself I need ear plugs covered with ear muffs topped with a pillow and comforter. But that would be really annoying, and then it would be impossible to get comfortable. Meanwhile, I'm thinking about all that I need to do, but can't do until the rest of the world is up. Then I fret about whether I'll fall back to sleep just before the alarm goes off and that I won't hear it when it does. And that I'm going to be so exhausted for work tomorrow (really, today) that I'll be good to no one. (Would anyone notice if I napped under my desk around, say, 3 p.m.???)

If anyone has a remedy, please share. Oh, the tea kettle is whistling. Wish me luck! I know I'll need it.

Another new recipie success at our house--personal pizzas.  We found the recipie in the "Better Homes and Gardens New Junior Cookbook."  (A side note:  "New" in the title is relative--the book was published in 1979, and I remember my sister having her own copy when we were kids.)  Still, the recipies are simple enough for most kids to handle by themselves, with help from an adult when needed for the oven or stove, and all the foods are very kid friendly.

The recipies takes refrigerated biscuits and makes them the pizza dough.  You just flatten them out with your rolling pin, using flour as necessary to prevent them sticking to the rolling pin or your countertop.  We then topped each pizza with sauce, cheese and the toppings we liked, and baked.  Even K got to help with this one--she loves putting on the cheese!  These would be great for a kid's party or sleepover.

In additional foodie news, we picked the first green beans from our garden.  J commented with wonder, "They're so much better when they're fresh!"  Even K, who is not big on green veggies yet, ate a bean without complaint.  I was worried about the time commitment when we put in this garden, but the maintenance has not been as much work as I anticipated.  I picked another batch of beans today, and my husband picked 2 cucumbers and a green pepper.  The only downside has been the groundhog who thinks we opened a salad bar for his own dining pleasure.  He ate every bit of lettuce that grew, to my great disappointment.  We've chased him out numerous times (I won't go into how--some animal lovers might not be pleased), but he keeps returning.  We don't want to use any chemicals on the plants since we're eating the food.  Any suggestions from some experienced gardeners out there? 

Next week I'll try to focus more on activites for the little one, since J will be away at camp for the week.  Stay cool!

Aug. 1 is Monday. Can you believe it? Less than a month until school starts (for most of us). But I've done a lot of learning this summer, and I don't mind passing the best lessons along.

1. Gazebo Room Greek Salad Dressing & Marinade is a godsend, a culinary tip picked up at a family graduation party early in the season. I'm using it in lettuce salads, pasta salads, potatoes, roasted veggies and chicken. Delicious!

2. If you're traveling to the Bethany Beach area of Delaware and looking for an extra-special cake, try Sweet Disposition (another graduation party tip). In Fenwick Island -- it has a Selbyville address -- this bakery is worth the 15-minute drive. I got two cakes for my daughter's birthday celebration with family: Lemon with raspberry filling and Tiramisu! My mouth is watering as I think about it.

3. OK, I've already told you about the power of the dryer sheet. (See previous blog.)

4. I'm a Philippa Gregory fan, and recommend "The Constant Princess.'' If you're into the England of the Lancasters, Yorks and Henry VIII, you'll love it. I also give two thumbs up to her "White Queen'' and "The Other Boleyn Girl.'' ("The Red Queen'' gets a so-so review from me.) Great beach reads!

5. I'm rethinking my anti-Kindle position. (And I better make a quick decision; my birthday is coming up) Too many people had them at the beach, and I found myself longing for one.

6. Have you seen ''Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2''? Get thyself to a theater. (Oops, I sound like I'm still in 16th-century England.) It is soooooo good!

7. Make sure you get the freestone peaches, not the clings. Made that mistake over the weekend. Cobbler turned out great, but I wasted too much of the fruit.

8. Went school-supply shopping last night. Ouch!! Take advantage of the early deals, and do not forget the coupons!

9. Somewhere in the end of June I finally accepted the fact that my 12-year-old cannot multitask. So we're taking it one chore at a time.

10. Finally, taking an occasional evening to spend time with friends (adults) is OK and good for the soul! Enjoy the rest of the summer!

In two days, it will be seven months since I parted ways with my breasts. "Kirsten, your breasts are not your friends," my breast surgeon diplomatically announced while we were discussing the best plan for eliminating the cancer.  

I may sound a tad flip about this, but it is still doesn't seem real.  I wake up every morning hoping that I have had a horrendous nightmare.  But then I turn on the shower and glimpse my altered state as I pass the mirror.  On my brave mornings I stare directly in the mirror, and on others I nonchalantly gaze out the window and pretend all is normal.  Windows reflect enough to snap me into reality.  

A mom in Fort Wayne, Ind., forced her 14-year-old son to wear a sign in public yesterday that read: "I lie, I steal, I sell drugs, I don't follow the law."

For two hours, the boy stood along a busy street with the sign hanging from his neck.

Dynesha Lax told news reporters that she took the action because her son has already been convicted of multiple felonies and the court's punishments have done little to correct his law-breaking ways. Sentences to community service have had no positive effect on the teen's behavior, she said "So, today, I decided that if he wants attention, we are going to get him some attention.''

Time will tell whether his mom's approach will do the trick, but the teen told a TV news reporter that he will change his ways.

It's tough love, for sure, but a good move on Mom's part as far as I'm concerned.

(Check it out at http://www.cnn.com/video/?hpt=hp_t2#/video/us/2012/01/11/dnt-wane-kid-stealing-sign.wane .)

What do you think, parents? Too tough, or the actions of a loving mom?

For those of you who have been reading this blog with any sort of regularity, you will know I am a married father of two girls (for those of you who don't read regularly, now you know). It is me, my wife, my two girls, my dog, my cat, and the two goldfish. The dog and cat are also both female. As for the fish, I have a sinking suspicion they are also female though I'm not quite sure how to verify this. Now I'm no good at math but if my addition is right, that is 7 females (I'm counting the fish) to the 1 male in my house. This equation catapults me past the Jack Tripper and Dan Conner zone and directly to the Chief Kanisky from ‘Gimme a Break' zone for male to female ratio in a house.
This ratio has presented a certain dynamic in my house. A dynamic lined with pink flowers and sun dresses. A dynamic that has put my testosterone to the test.
I would consider myself a regular guy. I still wear t-shirts I wore in college a decade ago. Most of the time, I use the bar of soap instead of shampoo in the shower. I can blow my nose by simply pressing in one nostril and blowing as hard as I can through the open nostril. I have urinated in public, I laugh when someone farts (the louder the funnier), and ignored directions when in the car. Now that I am writing this, it is not so hard to understand why men are so disgusting...but I digress. I enjoy sports, action movies, any magazine that has an annual swimsuit issue, and television shows that involve breaking or blowing things up. I had some rough edges, to say the least.
But those once rough edges have been softened by estrogenical erosion that has been gradually wearing my manhood down like a stone on the beach. I noticed a change 9 years ago when my first daughter was born. Along with the baby talk and dirty diapers came new found emotions. Where once stood a disgusting, stereotypical man now stood a dad (covered in poop and spit-up). Any lingering ideas of attempting to maintain my manhood disappeared when my second daughter was born.
Not that I wasn't ready to give it the old college try. I have diligently worked to influence my children but to no avail. In fact, not only do they ignore me (a trait they gained from their mother) but my plan backfired on me. As my kids have been able to repel my suggestions to wipe their noses on their sleeves and lessons on how to get real distance to your spit, I have been a complete sucker for their suggestions.
I am "Grandpop" to 6 different dolls. I have allowed my room to become a school, or a doctor's office, or a house for my "grandchildren" or whatever my kids deem it to be at the time. I don't build futuristic spaceships or cities out of Lego's; I am an interior decorator for Barbie's mansion. Putting the toilet seat down has become such a habit, I do it in public restrooms too (granted it's with my foot but still). I have tea parties. I have forgone important playoff football games for Wizards of Waverly Place. I barely have a section in my own closet let alone a ‘man-cave'. I don't think pink is such a bad color and I know my kids may never care about the ‘Miracle in the Meadowlands' or Mike Schmidt.
None of this bothers me.
I have been put on this planet for my kids. Without them, I'd just be a man and a disgusting man at that. I have put most of my manly endeavors in the rearview mirror as I have embraced whatever it is my kids want me to do or need me to do, even if it is "burping" an American Girl doll. Because what they want and what they need is infinitely more important than what I want or need (unless it's a nap, then I might need 20 minutes).
I may complain from time to time, but in reality, I don't feel like any less of a man. In fact, the definition of a man in my house doesn't have to even include crotch grabs, farts, arm wrestling, and fantasy football drafts. The definition of a man in my house is one that includes tea parties, polka dot colored walls, babysitting my "grandchildren", always walking down the pinkest aisle in the toy department, cuddling, helping put on training bras, dealing with crying fits because someone's feelings were hurt, folding panties, crying at a sentimental movie (or commercial now), turning my head whenever I hear the word ‘Daddy', staying up at night to make sure a 6 year old goes to the bathroom, protecting two girls from the dangers and fright of thunderstorms and "monsters", adoring the two people who are most important to me and most importantly, making sure I remember to put the toilet seat down.

Just returned home from a glorious week at Bethany Beach with the Roda side of the family. Fabulous weather, even better food, and priceless time spent with people we love and are grateful to have in our lives. I returned home with a tan, more sand in the floor of my car than I'd like, and enough new stories and recipes and household tips to get me through the next year.

The week's best advice was about noneother than dryer sheets. Silly me, I thought they were just for, well, the dryer. But think again we all did. When mosquitoes and other insects were bugging people the first night, victims were advised to slip a dryer sheet between the sheets. You guessed it: no more nighttime bug bites. Then the sheets found their way onto the sand the next day in beach bags and shirt pockets. Again, no bugs. So the dryer sheets were taken on walks and fishing trips.

Then we got to talking about the mircaculous sheets' myriad uses. As a deodorizer in gym bags and sneakers. Used sheets as a dustcloth for computer and TV screens -- all of this prompting me to look up other ways I've underused them.

Consider the following, as reported on curbly.com: Pat yourself with a dryer sheet to reduce static cling; wipe the shower stall with a damp used dryer sheet to remove soap and mineral deposits; soak used paintbrushes in warm water with a dryer sheet and the latex paint will come off in under a minute; soak baked-on cookware in warm water with a dryer sheet or two and cleanup will be easier; and then there is the sheets' deodorizing effect on everything from the car to the dog to the room where you house the garbage. (Curbly.com reminds people that dryer sheets are chemical products. Consumers should read the safety labels and use "ecologically alert'' products for safer use.)

Bottom line: Who knew?

Sometimes my job gets to me, and that's particularly true when I see story after story after story about adults accused of abusing and neglecting their children. Maybe you read that a Missouri couple was charged Wednesday with first-degree child endangerment. Both pleaded not guilty. According to wire reports, their youngest of four children was 4 months old on Jan. 10 when a pet ferret gnawed seven fingers off of the baby. Only the baby's two thumbs and part of a pinkie finger remained when authorities arrived at the home. The parents called 911 at about 2:30 in the morning. They said they were home sleeping;investigators said cellphone records showed that they were in several different locations texting and calling one another.

Authorities believe the mother who abandoned a battered newborn outside Weehawken High School in Newark, N.J., was a well-regarded teacher at a neighboring school district. The 1-month-old baby was found June 10 clad in a diaper and wrapped in a blanket, according to authorities, who said the child's injuries included a fractured skull and multiple broken bones. The mother is being questioned but has not yet been charged. 

In a report today, police said a northeastern Pennsylvania man admitted to killing his newborn daughter with a cinderblock May 28. Both he and the mother, who gave birth to the baby in a car before the father took the child into the woods and killed her, were charged in the death, authorities said. Police said the father indicated the couple could not afford the child.

Sadly, we have too many of these cases in our own backyard. Police recently arrested a Warwick Township dad for punching his 4-month-old daughter. The child survives, but suffered traumatic brain injuries and fractured ribs, according to news reports.

Do we bring these little ones into the world only to abuse and neglect them? Do couples, like the one in northeastern Pennsylvania, not know that adoption would have been a wonderful option for their baby? Do we still stygmatize people who choose to place their babies for adoption? Are support services inadequate? Are we so me-centered that we won't take the time to put our children ahead of our own pleasures?

I don't have the answers, but I'm sickened by it. And I'm increasingly disturbed by our almost casual acceptance of it. We, as a society, seem to be more outraged by puppy mills and mistreatment of animals, than our own human babies. If a dog is tethered outside in inclement weather, we call the humane society. But if we suspect abuse of a child, are we more apt to shy away from involving ourselves in someone's private family affairs?

We need to be doing more. Much more.

Well, it's that time of the year again, folks! School will be over for my girls on June 14 and we will run headfirst into summer (although today's heat feels like it ran headfirst into me!) For those of you who are new to this blog this summer, I write about cheap, sometimes educational, and hopefully fun activities I do with my 2 girls, ages 12 and almost 6 during the summertime.

J, my 12 year old, is finishing 6th grade. This will complete her first year in middle school. Overall, she's had a very good experience, for which I'm very thankful. She's involved in school band, chorus, and show choir. She also studies ballet and jazz dance. She's very into ballet right now, and drooling to get her pointe shoes (I am not drooling over the cost of the shoes and the associated foot problems, but I'll cross that bridge when I come to it). She enjoys reading and cooking, an important skill for her because she has a severe food allergy.

K is my soon to be 6 year old. She's finishing kindergarten, which is hard for me to believe. She will tease me by saying, "What's happening to your baby, mama?", something I say to her as I realize how quickly she is growing. She also takes ballet class and will be in her first dance recital this weekend! She loves arts and crafts, coloring, reading books, playing outside, and family games. She is a true 'girly' girl: her favorite colors are pink and purple, and she wants to be a ballerina when she grows up.

I almost hesitate to blog about our plans for the summer, because I know that we won't get to do some of the things I list. I certainly don't want to disappoint anyone out there! Nevertheless, here's the list: learn to play the piano with Jon Schmidt, book reviews and regular trips to the library, cooking lots of peanut free recipies, bowling, re-painting J's room (since Hannah Montana is passe for this age), crafts at Lancaster Creative Reuse, Wii game reviews, summer dance classes, picking strawberries, gaining financial peace for kids, and more. We'll also try to keep our school skills with math and science current.

If you have any suggestions for us, please leave me a comment or a message on LancMoms! I would love to hear from readers about suggestions, successes and disappointments in their summer activities. I try to keep the activities as inexpensive as possible, with a few splurges here and there. Hey, everyone's on a tight budget these days--we're certainly no exception to that.

One of the things I learned from last summer's experiences is to not try to plan too much. Sometimes the spontaneous things are even better than the big plans. So relax and enjoy the time with your kids--I'm sure your babies are growing as fast as mine are. We hope to see some of you on our adventures this summer!

OK, a confession:I was sucked into the 12th season of "DWTS.'' There was a lot I could have been doing around the house, but I just can't not watch this show!

Pro football player Hines Ward took the mirror-ball trophy. He was my pick! Though before last night's "finals'' commenced, my daughter and I were sure Chelsea Kane would win. Truly, the Disney star is a fantastic dancer and looked every bit a pro on the dance floor. (But I must say her partner, Mark Ballas, kind of makes me wince. Talented dancer and choreographer, but a bit too edgy for my tastes.) Hines had the whole package: dance technique and the kind of charisma that made him a lot of fun to watch. And his partner Kym Johnson is my favorite pro.

The surprise of the night was Kirstie Alley making it to the No. 2 spot. But, good for her. She became much more physically fit because of the 10-week DWTS regimen, and showed that even at age 60 a woman can take on new challenges, while the world watches, and succeed. 

The draw of this show continues to amaze me -- millions and millions of people every week. It's nice to have an escape from the household chores and sobering headlines. If only for an hour or two every week, it's wonderful to fantasize about quick-stepping around a dance floor in front of a cheering audience with a handsome partner!

But, now, alas it's back to ridding the guest room of the junk that's collected on the bed and tending to the upstairs window ledge with the peeling paint. No dancing around that!  

Great timing: I'm on vacation this week. So I was ready to get up at 4:45 a.m. to catch all of the royal wedding festivities in London. But I wasn't alone. Up to 2 billion people, we're told, tuned in to watch Prince William marry Kate Middleton. My sister and her family are visiting from Chicago. So, as everybody else in the house slept, we cracked open a bottle of champagne and sipped mimosas while taking in every step of the procession, every note of music, every stylish and not-so-stylish hat with oohs and aaahs and a very occasional critique.

With too many things going so badly in the world, it was a relief to spend a few short hours of fun with my sister -- and to do it happily and unapologetically. We agreed that the princess was beautiful, and her dress absolute perfection. I'll confess to hoping her lovely choice sparks a return to the kind of classic wedding-gown elegance that has been sorely lacking in recent years.

Among the other highlights were, of course, a smiling queen donned in yellow; the sweet way the prince looked at his bride; the pageantry and history of it all; the pomp, and yet informality, of the service; and the bride and groom's exist from the castle in a convertible trimmed in balloons and crepe paper. I could go on, but suffice it to say that it was an experience easy on the heart, mind and eyes. A day for the world to celebrate love and hope.

We extended the fun a bit longer by taking in lunch with our mom, sister-in-law (she's not an early riser) and daughters at our area's own Sugarplums & Tea. (If you've deprived yourself of this pleasure, do so no longer.) We enjoyed scones and lemon curd, cream of asparagus soup and English breakfast tea before finally turning our attention to that which we'd put on hold: spackling, laundry, getting volunteers for the spring book fair, grocery shopping, and the devastating headlines coming out of a South ripped apart by tornadoes.

It was a welcome morning respite, and one for which I'm grateful.

What a gorgeous day! Spring is here and I, the winter lover, am more than ready for it. I've gotten a lot done around the house today, and am managing time outside. (Finally got the last of the Christmas wrapping paper and bows put away -- I know, it's March 20, the first day of spring! Your point?)

Anyway, I'm still allowing myself some time to get some reading in. My daughter has a friend over, and the dog is amusing herself with a bone -- and a sock she shouldn't have. So with a cup of hot tea less than an arm's reach away, I find myself more than halfway through the "The Help'' by Kathryn Stockett. I recommend it! It's the story of three women, two African-Americans who toil, and I mean toil, as maids to white families in 1960s Mississippi, and the young white woman, daughter of a plantation owner, who befriends them. Really well-written, and I'm at a point now where it's hard to put the book down. I'm almost happy I've got insomnia.

I need to finish "The Help'' by Friday, when my book club will be at my house to discuss the book and, as we always do, to break bread -- well, a little more than that. Our menu Friday, will be in keeping with the theme of the book: a Southern feast, with each of contributing to the menu. Appetizer will be Texas caviar (I'll fill you in and share the recipe later). There will be cocktails, as well as fried chicken, collard greens with black-eyed peas, cornbread, a salad and, for dessert, pineapple-upside down cake. I can't tell you how much I've come to cherish these monthly gatherings, and the women in my club. More importantly, it's forced me to do the kind of reading I'd put on the back burner for a long time.

We just finished Jeffrey Eugenides, "Middlesex.'' I'd recommend it, but will tell you it was a little slow-starting for me. It was not what I would call an easy read, but it was beautifully written and I'm glad I stuck with it. I loved Jim Fergus' "The Wild Girl.'' I'm partial to anything that takes place in the West, but this was a book I was really sorry to see end. Anyone read this? I have another of his books, "One Thousand White Women: The Journal of May Dodd'' on my night table. It will be one of the next ones I open.

Here are a few other titles, which I may have previously mentioned: "The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society.'' What a treat! Probably one of my favorites over the past couple of years. Don't be put off by the title: This World War II-era book is a real treat. You won't want it to end. Our book club recently read "Women, God and Food.'' Couldn't finish that one, though others in my group raved about it. Next on our list is "Not Becoming My Mother,'' followed by "Committed'' and we'll indulged ourselves in "The Red Queen." I request one Philippa Gregory book every year. Can't get enough of the Tudors and olde England.

Happy reading, and please pass along any recommendations. Gotta go -- jumping rope with the girls calls!

It found us: The sickness that's had people dropping like flies finally invaded our home, even though we did everything we could to elude its grasp. So, at about 10 o'clock, last night, after a happy weekend of  dinner with friends, a party with more friends, my daughter's sleepover followed by a restful holiday topped by an evening of ballet class, she was stricken with a stomach bug and fever. (I know, busy weekend ... maybe too busy, and a lot of exposure to every illness making its rounds.)

Is there a more helpless feeling, than when your child is sick? I can't think of one that surpasses it. And doesn't it always seem like the worst hits at about 3 o'clock in the morning ... when the world is at its darkest, and oh-so quiet? And doctors' offices are closed? That's about the time foreheads are hottest with fever, the thermometer passing 100 and ever-edging upward. It makes the world an incredibly lonely place. As it was for me last night, as I took my daughter from her room into mine so I could check her through the night. She was so sick, and so uncomfortable. It seemed the new day would never dawn.

But it did, and with it her fever broke.  So the day, for my daughter, will be one of rest and hot tea. For me, it will be work at home mixed in with laundry and snow shoveling. But all is well, or getting there, as I proceed with a sense of relief mixed with equal parts exhaustion and accomplishment. May your days be healthy ones!

Joining a book club has been one of the best things that has happened to me in recent years. Six of us have found our way to each other via our kids, vocation and a love of books. Thankfully, we've become fast friends. Our monthly gatherings rotate to each of our homes, and we also share a meal, many times centered around the theme of the book. (This month it's "Women, Food and God'' by Geneen Roth.)

The hostess is typically responsible for the main dish, and the rest of us fill the table with appetizers, salads, wine and dessert. Because we'll also celebrate the birthday of the January hostess, I suggested she pick the dessert -- which I'm bringing. She went easy on me. Her request: coffee ice cream and Oreo cookies. So I'll happily oblige, and also bring along a batch of Oreo Balls, a recipe my sister-in-law Sheila passed along from former co-workers at Stauffers of Kissel Hill.

Warning: Kids and adults will love these, but they're addictive. Enjoy!

OREO BALLS

1 (1-pound, 4-ounce) package of Oreo cookies

1 (8-ounce) package softened cream cheese

White candy-coating wafers, about 1 pound

Crumble cookies with a blender or in a food processor until they are a fine, ground powder. Mix in the cream cheese and shape into 1-inch balls. Refrigerate 1 hour. Melt wafers over low heat. (Do not microwave.) Dribble melted wafers over top of balls. Refrigerate until set. Serve.

First, I added Tags and Categories to my blog entries, so if you're looking for a specific idea, this should make it easier!

We continue with:  J learning to cook!  We're hoping to make this a weekly event, and we'll report on the recipes and results here.  On tonight's menu:  Chinese Soup, featured in the "Kids Can Cook" book I mentioned last week.  This was basically a chicken corn soup with some asian flare (soy sauce).  We shopped for necessary ingredients this afternoon.  I can't remember a time when this kid was actually excited about going to the supermarket,  until now!  The soup was very easy to prepare.  J did most of the work.  I would step in to help with the chopping--she's still not super confident about handling a knife.  She now understands how onions can make your eyes water too!  She struggled a little with cutting the chicken into small pieces, but happily chopped carrots.  The entire family LOVED this soup!  Even K, who can be ridiculously picky until she actually tries something, liked it right off the bat.  We have leftovers too, so we will continue to enjoy it this week.  The cookbook has to be returned to the library next week, but we're planning to copy down the recipies we liked or still want to try. 

I admit, one thing I'm struggling with is doing more math with J.  She does a great job with fractions when we're cooking something, dividing in her head without struggles.  But on paper--it's another thing altogether.  Today we tried "Stacking Dice Puzzles".  You can find the worksheets at www.education.com/worksheets or through www.math-drills.com.  These were interesting logic puzzles using dice.  It helps if you actually have about 4-5 dice to manipulate to solve the problems.  We did one sheet today and hope to finish the other tomorrow.  J's reaction:  it was okay.  She made some silly mistakes, mostly because she just didn't think logically about what the question was asking.  This tends to be her problem in school as well.  I'm still looking for ways to improve her math without drilling on worksheets, so if anyone has some ideas about this, please share them! 

Lastly, today J and I played flute and clarinet duets (me on flute, her on clarinet).  She's played for 2 years now and catches on quickly.  Still, because both mom and dad are music teachers, she will balk at having to practice over the summer.  We're trying some easy duets, which she played well tonight.  She also got a book of Disney songs and movie themes, so she plays those for fun.   Although I'm "assigning" her duets as I would with my flute students, I really just want her to play because it's fun.  I think it's hard for her because she tends to be too perfectionistic about her playing.  Living with two music teachers probably doesn't help this, I realize.  I keep telling her I don't care about the mistakes and just want to play!  Sometimes that's a hard sell, but I keep trying. 

In all of these learning opportunities, we're still getting out to see family, go swimming, and enjoy the summer and each other.  We hope your family is doing the same.  Until next time!

June 10 marked our last day of rushed mornings and evening homework -- at least until August. When I picked up my daughter, I couldn't help but smile as I saw her rush through the school doors and step into the sun. She was happy, and it showed. The kids could wear flip-flops for these final few hours ending at 11:30. That -- the footwear and the shortened school time -- got rave reviews! Her report card was stellar. And there was time for pictures and hugs with this year's beloved teacher.

My daughter was also thrilled at spending time with classmates and her new teacher in what we'll be next year's classroom. The one that will be her headquarters for sixth grade and the final year of elementary school. Many students don't know who next year's teacher will be until the new year is about to start. We like the way our school does it. A lot. It gives students an opportunity to meet their new teacher and get a feel for their surroundings-to-be. (Thanks Penn Manor!) It's the perfect way to tie up a great year, and prepare for what's to come. But first, we'll enjoy our summer!

There's a load of clean laundry in my dryer. It's been there a couple of days. The reason? Contour sheets. Next to ironing, I hate folding these sheets more than any other domestic task. And no matter how much time I devote to it, the sheets look the same when I push -- AND I MEAN PUSH -- them into the linen closet shelf as they do when I pull them from the dryer. Argh! Is it just me? Is there some secret to neatly folding contour sheets that someone can divulge?

Well, not too often am I rendered silent.

You know it is hard for me to write when I am down, and these have been some difficult weeks.

I was so thankful to be able to contribute to the Breast Cancer Awareness efforts of Lancmoms.com. It got tough toward the end of the month, especially combined with the reconstructive procedure unexpectedly wedged into October. I have been struggling with splitting headaches--a leftover of the radiaiton treatment and I have been falling like a toddler learning to walk--it is crazy. I am gearing up for my first round of tattoos on December 2.

It knocked me back having to take time off from exercising again and dealing with pain and bandages, etc.. Exercise is such an integral part of how I manage my emotions, energy level and endorphins! Mentally and physically it has been a bummer.

But, if I was thinking of keeping to myself, last Tuesday changed all that. I have been fuming over the new guidelines to begin mammograms at 50 and to stop self breast exams. I am in absolute disbelief over this.

I will write more about this later this week, but I used my family connections tonight to make my voice heard. Michael had a meeting scheduled tonight with Francis Collins, decoder of the human genome and newly appointed Director of the National Institutes of Health (NIH). So, I was the greeting committee for Dr. Collins at the restaurant, as Michael met a colleague at Union Station in DC, to walk over to the restaurant.

I wanted just ten minutes with him.

I did give him a chance to sit down and then asked how many times he had been asked to comment about the changed guidelines for mammograms this week. He said about a thousand! I asked what his take was on it. (I am learning some self control!) He said he got wind of it two weeks ago and gave Health and Human Services the heads up that they better be prepared for a firestorm reaction. Wow, was he right.

I will leave you with the most important things that he said tonight and flesh the conversation out later. He said it is obviously not as black and white as the governemnt task force wants it to seem. (Face the Nation featured both sides of the debate this morning.) I said I thought it was ridiculous to add that women should not do self breast exams any longer! CRAZY! He agreed completely.

Michael and his colleague arrived, I left them to their meeting where the conversation continued. With all of the talk last week about "anecdotes don't make good science", Dr. Collins now has the face of a 45 year old mother of three, with no risk factors firmly in his mind. I am not an anecdote, and my survival matters, at least to the people in my little yellow house, but obviously to more people than that, because you are reading this!

He was most shocked at the fact of my "clean" mammogram in February 2008, progressed to cancer completely thorughout the left breast, including a 6 cm mass ten months later. His question was, "Was the cancer there in February 2008and it went undetected?" My question exactly. Dense breast tissue, nondigital mammogram. New calcifications spotted behind the left nipple, but no treatment recommended at this time. REALLY????????????

More later, I am fired up about this--surprise--and I have renewed energy to bring awareness to breast cancer.

Do your self-exam.

Schedule your mammogram.

JUST on the news--National Institutes of Health says to IGNORE the new guidelines!!!!!!!!!! YES!

What You Need to Know

Use a rear-facing car seat until your child is at least age 1 and 20 lbs. Use your rear-facing car seat longer if the seat has higher weight and height limits. Take the next step to a forward-facing car seat when your child is at least one year old and you answer "yes" to either question:

• Does your child exceed the car seat's rear-facing height and weight limits?

• Is your child's head within one inch of the car seat top?

From birth to at least age 1 and 20 lbs.

• Use a rear-facing car seat correctly in a back seat every time your baby rides in a car.

• Use the right car seat for your baby's weight and height. Infants are weighed and measured at every doctor visit, so be sure to keep track.

• Use the car's safety belt or LATCH system to lock the car seat into the car. Your car seat should not move more than one inch side to side or front to back. Grab the car seat at the safety beltpath or LATCH path to test it.

• Put harnesses through the slots so they are even with or below the infant's shoulders. Be sure the harness is tight, so you can't pinch extra webbing at the shoulder.

• Adjust the chest clip to armpit level.

• Use your baby's car seat rear-facing and reclined no more than 45 degrees, so the baby's head stays in contact with the seat and the baby's airway stays open. Read the car seat instructions.

• Keep your baby rear-facing until at least age 1 and 20 pounds. Move to a rear-facing convertible seat if the seat has higher weight and height limits than the infant only seat.

• Find where the frontal airbags are in your vehicle by checking the owner's manual. Never put a rear-facing car seat in front of an active airbag. Children are always safest in a back seat.

• Be sure all occupants wear safety belts correctly every time. Children learn from adult role models.
• Get help with your child's car seat by contacting a Safe Kids coalition near you.

The current recommendations is that children remain rearfacing until they are two.  The reason for this is that the support of the seat makes them safer in a crash and allows their neck muscules and ligaments to grow stronger.  This is a recommendation, parents can choose to have their child forward facing after they reach the mark of 1 and 20lbs. 

Week 31: Breastmilk, Bottles and Breaks  

Walking through the local drug store recently, I sought to look up an old friend of mine ... Lansinoh. That ooey, gooey substance that theoretically spells R-E-L-I-E-F for moms who are breastfeeding their babies. I must have gone through countless tubes of that stuff with our firstborn. I guess it helped; not quite sure. But given the horror stories I had heard from friends about cracking, bleeding, ugh ... the pain that can come with nursing, I figured it was too risky to not use it.  

There are undoubtedly many hazards along the journey into breastfeeding. I know women who would break down in tears when their babies would cry for milk, as it meant more pain or more frustration or more panic. It's hard to prepare for these pitfalls, especially when breastfeeding is promoted as the ideal. A bonding moment between mother and child. As I prepare for our second baby (and my reunion with Lansinoh), I think about how lucky I was that it went relatively smoothly for us the first time around. But that's not to say we didn't have our share of problems.  

My experience with nursing our daughter went so well that she developed quite an attachment to it. I couldn't go anywhere, as she refused a bottle. And after 3 months of colic and 5 months of being glued to her side, I desperately needed a day to myself. But what to do??? We tried every trick in the book to get her to take a bottle ... even resorting to shelling out $17 for a bottle that looked (and felt) like a breast. No dice. Finally, we did what I dreaded most ... I just left for a day.  

Standing outside a movie theatre in Manhattan, I called my  husband for an update on how the bottle was going. The news was poor. 

"What do you mean she only took an ounce?!" I demanded. "She hasn't eaten in four hours."  

"Well, at least it calmed her down a little," my husband replied.  

"Don't you see she's just staving off the hunger until I get back??" I shrieked. "She's playing you!" 

Yes, I really did think that my 5 month-old daughter was purposely plotting how to lure me back home. When I arrived back to our apartment later that afternoon, I cried as I nursed her ... partially out of guilt for putting her through that ordeal and partially out of frustration for being in the situation we were in. It was after that awful day that slowly, very slowly, our daughter made friends with the bottle. And I was able to regain a little bit of sanity, knowing that I could escape for a stretch of time and she wouldn't starve.  

A friend of mine who is quite familiar with those dark days recently forwarded me an article from The Atlantic Monthly. http://www.theatlantic.com/doc/200904/case-against-breastfeeding It's something I wish I would have read prior to the birth of our firstborn. It's called "The Case Against Breastfeeding," written by a woman who, despite what the title might lead you to believe, is a loyal breastfeeding veteran. In it, she essentially tries to ease the intense social pressure that is thrust upon moms to nurse their babies by revealing that some of the benefits of breastfeeding are inconclusive. She tries to tell nursing moms - or moms who want to nurse, but for any one of many good reasons, can't - to give themselves a break.  

I wish someone would have told me that the first time. I resisted every offer for help - no midnight feedings for my husband, no bottles left for relatives who babysat, no emergency can of formula in the cupboard in case I couldn't produce milk. It was all me, and quite frankly, it was a lot of pressure, and even lonely at times. Had I given myself a break, let people assist me, maybe I would not have been standing on a sidewalk in New York, raving like a lunatic with swollen boobs. It's possible.  

There aren't too many things I would change about how we raised our daughter during the first year of her life. Breastfeeding, however, is one of them. Oh, I'm going to nurse our second child - I love the feeling of having her close to me, and it just feels like what my body should be doing - but I will be more open-minded and flexible about the options I have for feeding her. I will, as the author urged, give myself a break, knowing that there are so many things that lead to happiness and health in a small child.

“Daddy, I’m hungry.”

My youngest and I were shedding our coats and boots in the garage.  We had just spent the last hour and a half shoveling snow.  Actually, Emma had been making snow angels and firing snowballs at me while I shoveled out my car and the neighbor’s mailbox.  Her cheeks were red and the edges of her hair that had been sticking out of her hat were wet.

My wife and our oldest daughter were out (conveniently) so my 6 year old and I spent the morning outside.  It was just the first thing on my list of things to get done that Sunday.  After shoveling and dodging snowballs, I was hungry too.

“Sounds good kiddo. Let’s eat lunch.”

“Should I get my tray Daddy?”

Most Sunday afternoon’s, my kitchen is turned in to a diner and I turn in to a short order cook as I prepare anything from a peanut butter and jelly sandwiches to scrambled eggs for the kids.  They get to eat out in the living room on their trays and watch television.  The half an hour reprieve gives me time to do begin whatever it is that is on the docket for the day.  That Sunday my wife asked me if I would like her to write down what needed to be done (which is never a good sign).  The President gets the same sort of list from his generals but I’m pretty sure it doesn’t say anything about finishing the laundry.

Our desire to have our kids actively involved with as much as possible short of Himalayan yodeling, time is a commodity. Too often, I find myself moving to try to keep up with the speed of life.  I’m dropping off at this practice and picking up from that lesson.  I’m home from work long enough to change my pants only to leave for the next activity.  There is laundry that needs to be done then folded.  I have a basket of wrinkled clothing in my room so mountainous; the white shirts on top could be mistaken for snow caps. And there never seems to be enough time to get it all done.  This day was really no different.

“No. Leave your tray. Let’s eat lunch in the kitchen.”

It would have been easy for me to say yes to Emma’s question.  I could have made her a ham and cheese sandwich, flipped on the television, and gone about my duties for the day which were plentiful.  I was fairly certain my wife wrote something down about emptying the dishwasher before we had to eat with our hands off of paper towels.  I also remember something about the wash not folding itself and the vacuum cleaner being unable to vacuum from the closet.  In the face of all of that, I decided to eat lunch with my daughter.

I made soup.  Actually I opened up some soup and heated it (which, when I’m cooking, equates to being homemade).  The two of us sat at the island in our kitchen together with our bowls of chicken noodle trying to find the coolest edge so we could start eating.  We talked about the snow.  We had a contest to see which one of us could slurp the loudest.  We laughed.  Emma negotiated for extra chocolate syrup in her hot chocolate (and won) and not once did I notice the speed of life moving past me.

I’m busy. You’re busy. We’re all busy.  We’re all looking for more time to do all that is asked of us. And the time we get is valuable. It’s just not as valuable as the people you spend it with. Sometimes you have to forget about trying to keep up. For the 40 minutes or so Emma and I spent slurping, laughing and talking, I could have been doing a lot of other things but none of them seemed important in that moment.  I was with my little girl and those things, moving at the speed of life, were all going to have to wait until we finished our soup.

Summertime gives us the opportunity to work on a few practical skills. These are things that hopefully get our girls to be a bit more independent and take care of the house with us, instead of household chores being a constant battle.

First, our kids get allowance for doing chores. They also do some chores just becaue they live here and it's part of being a family. They understand which chores need to be completed for money and that incomplete or poorly done chores result in a lower amount of money in their allowance. We also insist that part of the allowance be put in their savings account. To be honest, they are both really good at taking care of their chores and it is very rare that I need to take part of their allowance away for not completing their work. We are working on saving the other portion of allowance for things they want to buy themselves. J knows that her spending money is used to go to movies, small shopping trips, the school book orders, and entrance to school dances. Both girls save money to buy Christmas presents for the family. This system has saved me countless headaches and coming up with last minute cash. I highly recommend it. We hope to be able to gradually increase allowance as they age. Ultimately, by the time they are seniors in high school, I'd like them to have to save for their clothes and pay for their own dance lessons. We'll see how that works out. If you're interested in finding out more, I recommend Dave Ramsey's "Financial Peace Jr.", a kit which contains items to help kids understand how money works, prepare to save, etc. You can find it at www.daveramsey.com. While I don't follow his system to the letter, most of what I mentioned here is in his system. I admit, I'm a big fan of him and his ideas, and have read his "The Total Money Makeover" book, which I highly recommend for adults. It's the only personal finance book I've ever read cover to cover AND understood AND put into action.

Other skills--K learned to work the TV remote control. This doesn't sound like much, but consider how complicated those things are now! Plus, we have separate remotes for the TV and the satellite box, so there is some sophistication needed to understand this system. She's handled it well and now does not have to get me out of bed in the mornings for this. I've also had her start getting her own breakfast on the weekends, so that I can sleep in. It's just cereal and milk (I put the milk in a creamer pitcher so it's easier for her to pour) but it gets me a few extra minutes of sleep--a real sanity saver, in my life.

J learned to iron and how to hand wash a car. I taught her to iron since she already does a load of her own laundry as part of her regular chores. This just seemed like the next logical step! She now can iron her own things weekly as needed. We all washed my car as a family. J actually said that she could take that item off her bucket list!!! Clearly, we need to get this child out more!!! I think it helped that it was so hot we didn't mind when my husband 'accidentally' squirted us all with the hose!

Sometimes I think parents love their children so much that they want to do everything for them. Really, if we want our kids to be great adults, we need to let them do things for themselves, in a gradual and age-appropriate way. Don't be afraid to let them do things around the house and learn to function without your constant supervision. You'll be glad you did!

We're back from a trip to the Outer Banks in North Carolina. Our whole family enjoyed spending time at the beach and our vacation home's private pool. We shared the home with my sister and her family and my mother and step-father. A good time was had by all!

On the road, we kept track of how many license plates from different states we saw. J really got into this as the trip went along, and then watched for them during our stay in OBX, even when we weren't on the road. We managed to see 39 states (inlcuding the District of Columbia) and 2 Canadian provinces! I was surprised at how many we saw. We even got some of the most difficult plates to spot--Alaksa and Hawaii! As we saw the different slogans on plates, we talked about what they meant. For example, Ohio's plate says "Birthplace of Aviation" because it's the home of Wilbur and Orville Wright. North Carolina's plate says "First in Flight" because that's where the actual flight took place (not far from where we stayed). J was unimpressed by the fact that the original flight lasted only 12 seconds. Ah, 12 year olds--so jaded when all they've ever known is boatloads of technology.

Since we were near Roanake, we also talked about the Lost Colony. This was something J studied in school in 5th grade, so I had to jog her memory a bit, but it came back to her eventually. If you're near the OBX, you can visit the theater production "The Lost Colony" which tells the story. www.thelostcolony.org. We did this several years ago, and it's a very good production.

On our way home, we stopped at the National Museum of the Marine Corps (www.marineheritage.org) in Quantico, VA. My husband is a former Marine, and he's wanted to visit the museum since it opened. I will admit that we did not spend near the amount of time there we would have liked and that a place like this deserves. This was due to 2 hungry kids who are female and really not all that interested in Marines, guns, and airplanes. But if you have a boy (of any age!) in your life who is into this stuff, this is the place for you.

The museum is really beautiful. The outside is sort of a slanted pyramid shape, which is the shape of the Iwo Jima memorial in Washington DC. The exhibits are laid out in a chronological order, starting with the Revolutionary War and going through present day. I learned that the Marines are called "Leathernecks" because of the thick leather collar on their original uniforms, which protected them from sabres. There's also a neat exhibit that takes you through Marine Corps basic training. You can spot the problems in a recruit's dress uniform, lift a backpack, get hollered at by a drill instructor on a recording, and try your hand at a mock firing range (admission to the museum itself is free, but there was a nominal charge to do the firing range activity).

Obviously, there's a lot of war material here, but my 6 year old wasn't phased by any of it. Granted, she is a bit young to understand everything yet, but the museum displays are effective but not overly graphic. There is even a table staffed by volunteers where kids can draw pictures of their favorite Marine, or just do a patriotic drawing. Several of their works were hung on display in this area. We hope to return someday when we have a bit more time to really take in the displays and get to the ones that we missed this time around. Now my husband is running around the house saying, "ooh rah!" and other Marine sayings. This trip surely brought out his inner jarhead (military speak for Marines).

Hope all you LancMoms are enjoying your summer and spending great times with your families! Thanks for reading!

We all, or I'd like to believe that most of us, think our kids are pretty awesome! They're smart, talented, eager to soak up the world around them ...

But every once in a while I'm reminded that, well, they're kids.

After a quick visit with my parents last night, my daughter and our dog ventured out to the car. I stayed in the house just a few minutes longer. From the kitchen window, I watched my daughter get into the car and start to make faces in the sideview mirror. She was grinning, tilting her head, exaggerating her appearance and then laughing out loud.

I kept watching, noticing that she was contorting her face, with help from her fingers, in a way that I couldn't quite figure out from my vantage point. 

When I got into the car, I asked her what she'd been doing. Her response left me speechless, but laughing.

"I was trying to fold my tongue!''

When I picked up my daughter at dance tonight, her greeting left a little to be desired. Mom, why are you wearing THAT shrug with THAT dress? It's black on black, my 11-year-old Chanel wannabe told me, and the textures are all wrong when worn together. A few moments later she corrected my grammar by pointing out that an intended adverb was missing the "ly.'' She was, indeed, right. But that didn't make me less annoyed. Then, when I asked about her day, she responded with shock that I'd think she would know everything that happened in her Lancaster County school  -- you would have thought she was touring Paris all afternoon and that I made the ridiculous assumption that she would have a clue as to what was happening in North America.

At that point, I demanded quiet in the car. Complete and uninterrupted silence. I like to think of myself as fairly intelligent, and somewhat insightful. But now that my daughter is 11 -- soon to turn 12 -- I'm not so sure. All of sudden, I don't seem to have much on the ball. My sister has a 13-year-old girl. My sister-in-law has two daughters, one who just finished her freshman year of college and another in her late 20s who's about to be a mom herself. My sister and sister-in-law, by their daughters standards, are also significantly flawed.

We enjoy wonderful relationships with our daughters. But what's with the nitpicking?

Perhaps it's a painful rite of passage. Maybe daughters can be occasionally super-critical because when they look at their moms they see themselves. And how about this for a revelation: My mother has noted that all three of us mothers -- my sister, sister-in-law and I -- are too critical of her at times. Ouch!

"A mom forgives us all our faults, not to mention one or two we don't even have,'' wrote freelander Robert Brault.

Maybe that needs to work from a daughter's direction, as well. Meanwhile, I'm thinking about pairing cotton and taffeta tomorrow. Wonder what the resident fashion critic will say about that?

My son is in k4 through PA Cyber. We are having a great experience with the coursework. Friday will be our first field trip with the school.

If I were a school superintendent, one of my least favorite jobs would be second-guessing the weather. And then having to call the school delays and cancellations. No matter what the decision, or when it's called, you'll NEVER make everybody, particularly parents, happy.

So it is with understanding, but increasing frustration, that we near the end of a no-school day today, on the end of a three-day holiday weekend that appears to be sliding into, if the forecasts are on target, a delay tomorrow. Argh! (And that's not counting the delay last week.) There's nothing we can do about the weather, but all of these changes really mess up the routine. I was out with my daughter and one of her friends yesterday. We ran into a few of their pals. One predicted a two-hour delay today. Another said it would be no school. They're only sixth-graders, yet both were right. What began as a delay worked itself into a no-school Tuesday.

When I couldn't sleep early this morning -- I think it was 3 a.m. -- I turned on the TV to look for school closings and delays in the hope that I'd get a jump on the day, and then could start planning how I would work everything out for my daughter, the dog, my work. Nothing. So, I watched about an hour of "Camelot'' on TCM. Nothing. Then I checked on the laundry in the dryer. Still no word.

Back to sleep for an hour. Then word of a two-hour delay. Got everything worked out, readied myself for work. Then, no school. Changed the plans. Took two Extra-Strength Excedrin.

Moral to the story: Just sleep in. Skies will be sunny, road will be clear and school will start on time!

Postscript: It's the next day, Jan. 19. I was right. Planned on a delay because of the forecast, allowed my daughter to stay up late and, voila, NO SCHOOL DELAY today! Works every time!

Dear Gamma 6th grade team teachers and Mrs. S--

Here's what my kids did on their summer vacation:

1.  Picked strawberries

2. Cooked dinners together

3. Learned the age of a fallen tree

4.  Identified bugs in our backyard

5. Learned how to KenKen (math puzzles)

6. Visited the fish at That Fish Place

7. Created pictures with Tangrams

8. Talked to the animals at Lake Tobias

9. Enjoyed produce from our garden

10. Read great books

11. Went Bananagrams

12. Made Origami

13. Visited the hallowed ground at Gettysburg

14. Created art

15. Made our own ball and cup game

16. Completed crossword puzzles

17. Practiced math skills

18. Laughed along with the Popcorn Hat Players

19. Became certified expert pretzel makers at Sturgis Pretzels in Lititz

20. Enjoyed the unique science of the Mythbusters

21.  Smelled the roses at Hershey Gardens

I hope my daughters learned some things this summer.  I know what I learned:  that I was just happy to be doing things with them, and I stopped being so concerned with what they were learning and focused more on the experience we were having TOGETHER.  I've become a believer in providing experiences over providing things for my children.  I hope that's something they will pass on to their own kids someday.  I hope you got to have some fun experiences with your family this summer too. 

Both of my girls are looking forward to their new school experiences this year (6th grade and kindergarten)  I know they are a little bit nervous and excited both.  Know that their dad and I will be standing behind them, supporting them, and cheering them every step of the way.  We hope you enjoy getting to know them. 

Sincerely,

J and K's mom

PS for the readers:  This isn't the end of my blog--I plan to add entries on our families activities and experiences as things come up.  Although I can't promise that the entries will be as frequent, but I hope to keep them up as I'm able.  Coming up in our lives--my husband is running a half and a full marathon in October!  Thanks so much for reading and I hope everyone has a terrific start to school.

Not so many days ago, I wrote about the conversation all America became privy to when a dad asked his young daughter, on NPR, if she had ever been disappointed in him. She told him that yes, she had, and explained that his absence from her life for a period of years was inexplicable and hurtful.

I was moved by this idea of a parent seeking such information from a child. Typically, it is we parents who routinely, perhaps sometimes mindlessly, dish out our approval or disapproval of youngsters' behavior. Perhaps the roles should be reversed once in a while.

I posed the question to my daughter: Had she, I asked, ever been disappointed in me? Her response was painful -- initially because it didn't take her long at all to come up with an instance when I had, indeed, let her down. About two years ago on a weekday morning, she recalled, our puppy had caused major havoc in the house. We were running late for school and work. There were lunches to be made. I'd not quite gotten through a pile of papers I'd brought home from the office. I couldn't find my shoes. I'd had enough. I lashed out, promising her the dog would have to go because she was causing too much work. Of course, I didn't mean it. I love our little Sophie. But angry, tired and frustrated, I let a small matter get the best of me and succeeded in sending a fourth-grader to school in tears. I apologized to my daughter that very morning and reassured her that our pup was a beloved member of the family who would remain so. Yet the damage was done, and an impression made. My daughter remembers the pain, fear and worry I laid on her that day. And so do I.

Just a few days ago, USA Today published an interview with actress Emma Thompson, who wrote the script for the new "Nanny McPhee'' movie, in which she also plays the title role. In the interview. she talked about parenting and how hard it is to get it right all the time. She confided that she tells her own young daughter when she gets it wrong, and promises to learn from her mistakes and try to do better the next time around. Not a bad approach to parenting.

Not yet out of July, but we're ready for sixth grade. My daughter is one organized kid. That's why she pulled me to Target and Staples last night, July 22, to hit their back-to-school treasures. And let me tell you, the erasers, notebooks, lunchboxes and backpacks are spilling out of the shelves and off the hooks.

Remember last year? she asked. We waited until August and everything was picked over. Big time. Pencil boxes were practically endangered school accessories. 

Well, let me tell you. There's nothing endangered at this point in the summer. So, smack dab between beach week and camp time, we ventured directly into the inventory with a list and a shopping basket, determined that this would be the one and only trip. She decided on the purple, 3-inch binder. Six folders, each with a different geometric, floral or cute-puppy design. (I hope you're reading this Mrs. Braun.) Pencils: check. Scissors: check. Tissues, pens, notebook paper: triple check.

She's already filed everything in the binder, complete with labels. Argh. Now  if only I could get her to clean her room!   

Summer vacation is officially off and running at our house.  We started by making our weekly pilgrimage to the local public library.  I generally take K every other week during the year.  J has her school library to rely on during the school year, but likes going in the summer and choosing her own books.  One of J's goals this summer:  to learn to cook something besides macaroni and cheese and grilled cheese sandwiches.  She found a kid's cookbook (Kids Can Cook by Judy Williams, published by Anness Publishing) and happily browsed the recipies.  More on this to follow.

After lunch, we indulged for the first time in a favorite Lancaster County activity:  picking strawberries!  There are lots of places to choose from to pick your own, but get there this week, since berries will be past their prime soon.  We chose Heller's Shady Creek Farm, located on Mt. Joy Road (Rt. 772) in Manheim, just past LCBC.  The lady who greeted us said this was the last week for folks to pick their own berries, but there are still plenty of nice ones left.  The girls and I picked 8 quarts in less than 30 minutes.  They really loved it, even J, who doesn't like to actually eat strawberries.  On the other hand, K could eat her body weight in them.  I haven't picked berries since I was a kid.  We all really enjoyed this, and it was inexpensive entertainment ($2 a quart).  We'll freeze our extras so we can enjoy them longer. 

After browsing the cookbook, I suggested a couple of recipies that J could make this evening for dinner.  She was quite excited about the idea.  She did much of the prep and actual cooking, and did a great job dividing fractions as we "halved" a recipie to cut down on the amount of servings.  She chose to make fried chicken fingers and baked potato wedges.  We did some minor alterations (cooking the potatoes in the microwave instead of the oven for the initial bake) to save time.  We also altered some of the spices to our liking.  She was quite pleased with the results!  K kept thanking her for making dinner, saying, "It's good!"  We're going to try another new recipie from the book next week:  Chinese soup. 

So far, so good.  Yes, they still get on each other's nerves--it can be a big challenge with my two, since they are 6 1/2 years apart in age.  But I'm happy with today and enjoyed just spending time with my girls.  And now, off to clean and freeze more strawberries. . .

My daughter's Psychiatrist asked me, "What does a girl get when she's in Seventh Grade that she never had before that makes it clear to you and to others that she has ADD-Inattentive Type?"  After a few wrong answers, he told me, "A locker." 

Prior to Seventh Grade, students are in one room and have one teacher.  In their one desk they keep all of their belongings, so chances are slimmer that they will lose or misplace things, like homework or project instructions.  Having one teacher who teaches most, if not all subjects is a benefit because that person can keep the student with initiative and follow-through challenges focused on all assignments, maybe even review everything needed for the following day before the students go home.  But in Seventh Grade, a student has to keep herself organized.  The results if she doesn't, or in the case of a student with ADD, if she can't, are usually incredibly messy lockers, which lead to not being able to find that math paper that you did finish (so you get a 0% for that assignment) or the instructions, including the deadline date for that project that you did start, but now, even if you finish, will get only partial credit  - if you're lucky - for turning it in late.

Having been educated on this "locker phenomena," I understood my daughter's struggles a little better.  She wasn't lazy, and she probably did actually care about her grades...can you fully appreciate how much better that made me feel?!  It was very liberating, as the Mother/Problem Solver, to reach that realization that "This is a disease, and there is something that can be done about it!" 

After a phone call to the Guidance Office, I made sure all of my daughter's teachers were aware of her need to have her Homework Assignment Book checked at the end of every class.  Every evening, she and I would review what was written there together.  I won't lie to you and say, "They all lived happily ever after!"  There were teachers who didn't consistently follow-through.  There were days that I worked late or had other evening committments that kept me from checking.  There were days that she just plain didn't do it.  There were other days when I just plain couldn't do it. 

We say that we would "do anything" for our children.  For me, that includes turning into a constantly nagging, pain-in-the-rear Mother.  Some days, I hate that about myself.  Some days, I don't want to be that person, so I stop.  Some days, I just feel like, "I shouldn't have to keep telling her to make sure she has her house key, or that her cell phone is charged, or to put her dirty clothes into the hamper and not strewn around her floor."  But then something will happen, like she'll get locked out of the house and call me at work from a neighbor's to come home and let her in.  Then I think, "Bad Mother!"  I realize it is ridiculous.  But, in other areas of my life, when a problem is identified, and a solution is found and put into place, the problem usually remains solved.  Unfortunately, this has not been the case with my daughter's Inattentive Type ADD.

But today I have a lot of energy.  Today there is no school, which means no homework.  Her room is a total disaster, but today that's okay with me.  Let's see if I can maintain it all for the rest of this day!!

Two years ago, when she was 12, my daughter was diagnosed as having ADD-Inattentive Type and Depression.  My first response was, "Not MY child!  I did everything right - read lots of books about pregnancy and parenting.  How could THIS have happened?!"  Truth be told, up until that point - the moment when the phrase "Inattentive Type" came out of the Psychiatrist's mouth - I just really thought it was ME!  "Maybe I'm just not as good a parent as I thought!"

What took us to the doctor in the first place unfolded at my sister's wedding.  I noticed my daughter had cuts on her knuckles.  When I looked closer, I noticed they were letters, one on each knuckle, spelling out a boy's name - the boy who was "breaking her heart" at the time (now referred to as "The Turd").  My daughter had some friends who were "into cutting", and "taught her" how to do it.  After months and months of having her lock herself in her room, barely speaking to anyone in the family, and watching her grades go from A's to C's, this was the event that compelled me to get help.  "This is not something I know how to handle by myself."

I blamed myself for a long time, especially since the times when she cut herself were usually after she and I had had a fight about something - not cleaning her room, not turning in a homework assignment, not giving up on a boy who was bad news.  Once I learned more about the "Inattentive Type" of ADD, Depression, and Cutting, things made a little more sense, but that didn't make life any easier.  Want to know what did?  Medication.

I never wanted to have a child who "had to be medicated."  "I've seen THOSE kids.  MY kid isn't going to be one of THEM."  (Please accept my apology, all you Moms of THOSE WONDERFUL AND MISUNDERSTOOD KIDS!!  I know better NOW!)  The Psychiatrist asked me to trust him, and I thank God every day that I did.  We saw changes in my daughter within a few weeks.  She didn't seem miserable 24/7 (I still wouldn't describe her as "happy all the time," but at least I don't worry she will hurt herself when she's behind her closed door!).  Her friends noticed the difference, too.  And she said she "felt" better.

Eventually, she got rid of "The Turd," started spending more time with her friends, and over the past two years has had increases to her Prozac, Strattera, and Adderall.  Life is alot better than it was, but we have our struggles every day.  It is so hard to tell where the "disorder" ends and "being a teenager" begins. At the end of the last school year, I took my daughter to a "Moms and Daughters Night" at her school.  She immediately left me and went off with her friends, while I attended the "Just for Moms" session.  The Moms in that room joked about things they do with their daughters, how they get them to "open up," how they talk to them about boys, and drugs, and sex.  I couldn't relate to ANY of them.  They don't have the first clue what life is like with a child who has Inattentive Type ADD.  That's what this blog is about.

At work, I'm the one that people seek out when there are problems, and can usually come up with some ways to solve them.  I think I'm an intelligent person (though there are plenty of people who would argue that, I guess).  Raising my teenage daughter without going nuts?  Solving that problem requires simply taking one day at a time!!!  To keep my sanity, or maybe to make YOU feel better about what's going on in YOUR house, I'm going to share here.  "Welcome to the jungle!"

I can't believe ... that most of the summer is looking over our shoulders ... that we got the last purple pencil box at Staples ... that after organizing my daughter's fifth-grade closet we agreed, agreed, that she didn't require much to start the year ... that purchases met my "appropriateness'' standards  and her "fashion-trendy'' expectations ... that she told me, at the mall, standing amid racks and stacks of all things new, that there were lots of items she actually didn't need ... that she's carrying an argyle-styled backpack to school (ahh memories) ... that she's so excited to return to the classroom and will do it in her first pair of contacts ... and that while I'm not at all ready for her to begin the first of the last two grades of elementary school, I'm eager to get back into a routine.

So I'm forecasting a smooth landing on the first day of school as we coast along this last week of summer vacation. Keeping the fingers crossed that it stays this way.

I just wanted to introduce myself and what I want to document with my blog.

I have been blogging for more than a year for friends and family to keep up with my growing girls--Katie is nearly 5 and Maggie just turned 1!  My husband and I are transplants to the area...I grew up in Roaring Spring, PA (Between Altoona and Bedford), and my husband is from Greensburg, PA. 

How did we get here?  Well, I did my student teaching at Milton Hershey School in the Fall of 2002--when I graduated I started a job in January teaching Chemistry and Earth Science at Middletown Area High School.  My husband followed me down to the area in May 2003 when we were married and he has been at Lancaster Labs ever since.

I have since become a stay-at-home-mom to our sweet girls and we try to have a great time without a lot of money.  I love finding fun things to do with my girls and I am setting a goal of exploring a differnt place or new activity each week.

With our wonderful weather this week, I think some outside fun is in order!

Angel

[IMG]http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v471/angelhook/3-09020.jpg[/IMG]p.s.  I attached a photo of my girls from April...any guesses of where this was taken???

Just before Thanksgiving I asked colleague Michael Long, editor of the Alive section for the Sunday News, whether he had a knockout sweet potato recipe. Michael is a great cook, and a baker extraordinaire! (He made apple crumb pies for the Sunday News staff at the holidays.) He also cooks the Thanksgiving feast for his own family.

Only about a third of the Thanksgiving celebrants in my family will even put sweet potatoes past their teeth, but I'm typically the one who makes the dish every year for those of us who know how great sweet potatoes/yams can be. But I was in a rut, making the same concoction every year.

I'm glad I decided to broaden my culinary horizons. This recipe is delicious. So good that people in my family who would never touch sweet potatoes/yams went back for seconds. Michael promised that it is such a good recipe, I wouldn't know whether to put the dish on the dinner table or the dessert table. He was right! This recipe is a keeper.

SWEET POTATO CASSEROLE

3 cups sweet potatoes (I used yams)
1 cup sugar
Dash of salt
2 eggs
1/3 stick butter (room temperature)
1/2 cup milk
1 teaspoon vanilla

For the topping:
1 cup brown sugar
1/3 cup flour
1/4-1/3 cup chopped pecans, or amount to taste
1/3 stick butter


This recipe calls for canned sweet potatoes, which might sound like sacrilege, but when there's no room left on the stovetop, you'll be grateful. (Michael's words, not mine.) Look for the vacuum-packed sweet potatoes. They usually come in short, squat cans of about 13 ounces. (Two cans is what you need.) Weis carries them. (From Barb: I cooked yams for this, about a half-dozen good-sized potatoes.)

If you do go with canned sweet potatoes with syrup, press out all of the syrup.

To the sweet potatoes, add the sugar, salt, eggs, butter, milk and vanilla and mash it all up together. Place in a square or round glass baking dish.

For the topping, mix the brown sugar, flour, pecans (optional, but I think it enhances the dish) and butter, and spread over the sweet-potato mixture.

Bake at 350 degrees for about 35 minutes, or until it's good and bubbly.


You won't believe how good this is!!!!!!!

I was cleaning out the bathroom cupboard the other day and was shocked to see all of the drugs/medicines that had expired.

Today I saw this item by Laura Hambleton, for The Washington Post, on how to dispose them. Hope this is a tip you can use:

Here's what "the Food and Drug Administration says you should do - and not do. First, drugs should not be flushed down the toilet. 'They may get in the water supply or get into a stream and affect marine life,' University of Maryland pharmacist Frank Palumbo said.

"If disposal directions are not printed on the label, the FDA suggests that drugs be taken out of their containers, placed in a bag and mixed with dirt, coffee grounds or kitty litter to make them unusable. The Justice Department and its Drug Enforcement Administration periodically hold programs in the area where consumers can turn in unused and outdated prescription drugs."

Mark your calendars now. Trick or treating in Lancaster County will be 6-8 p.m. Monday, Oct. 31. You've got more than two months to pull those costumes together!!

If you've got pictures of costumes you've created, please share them with other LancMoms parents. And it would be great if you'd include directions.

Hot costume picks for Halloween 2011 are expected to be inspired by summer movies: Captain America, boy and girl Smurf costumes, Harry Potter and Lightning McQueen from "Cars 2.''

Of course, the tried-and-true ghosts, witches, gypsies and goblins are always good standbys.

Below is a do-it-yourself costume idea from parenting.com.

Meatballs and Spaghetti

Cut a hole for the head in the center of a red-checkered tablecloth (or 1.25 yards of 45-inch-wide red-checkered fabric) so that it can be worn like a poncho.

Cut 1/2 skein off-white yarn into spaghetti-length pieces. With a hot-glue gun, glue them in swirls and bunches to a large, sturdy paper plate.

Paint 8 small Styrofoam balls with brown acrylic paint to resemble meatballs. Let dry, then glue 4 or 5 balls to top of spaghetti. Mix brown and red acrylic paint to make a tomato-sauce color; drip that over meatballs and spaghettiSmear a little on the side of a small pot.

Glue the plate to the front of the tablecloth.

Glue remaining meatballs to tablecloth where you like.

Glue some strands of yarn to pot "hat." Tie under chin if needed to keep pot on head.

We had our share of mishaps during vacation last week, but my sister gets top honors. Friday, she grabbed me in the hallway of our beach house and whispered: "I washed Aaron's cellphone." I thought she meant that she wiped a bit of jelly off of her 10-year-old's phone, until she confided that it was in the pocket of a pair of shorts that were in a super load of colored clothing that made its way through the wash cycle. She didn't discover the mega-clean phone until she was transferring laundry to the dryer. Oops.

I felt her pain. About two years ago, I microwaved my cellphone. I was running a bunch of errands and somewhere between the grocery store and the post office my phone found its way into a tub of popcorn I bought at the video store. When I got home, I put the popcorn in the microwave. Only when the oven started making sparks instead of popped corn did I realize what I had done. My daughter, away on a Girl Scout camping trip at the time, told me upon her return home that I needed to be a little more responsible with my things. Wonder where she heard that?

My forgiving nephew, however, took a more pragmatic tone when my sister told him about the phone. "I was due for an upgrade anyway, Mom."

Hello friends:

My apologies for not blogging as much this summer as I did last year. There are a few reasons for this, but the biggest is that I'm trying to take things as they come and not plan as much as I did previously. This, combined with my older daughter becoming more teenage-like by the minute (and therefore wanting to do more on her own) combined with me having to work more this summer has cramped my blog so far.

A few updates: K (my 6 year old daughter) is now the proud owner of her own betta fish. She has been asking for 'a pet of her very own' for some time now, so this seemed like a good option. We have an elderly cat, but she belongs to everyone (and mom does all of the care and feeding for her). As we drove past That Fish Place one day, K announced that she'd like a fish. I realized that she had enough allowance saved up to get one, and we could resurrect our old fish tank from the garage. "Mr. Blue", our betta, seems to be happy in his new home. K is delighted and has been very serious about his care. I hope that will last!

We continue to work on piano, but are not as diligent as we should be. J gets frustrated easily because she wants it to be perfect right away. She's so like her mother (sigh). But she will still go to the piano and noodle on it. K enjoys it and continues to amaze me with how well she grasps it and remembers things, even with the irregularity of our sessions. We are using Jon Schmidt's "67 Fun Songs" and "67 Fun Songs Primer", which can be found at www.jonschmidt.com. The books tout that a parent can teach a child themselves for about a year without experience. I'm finding that's a mostly true statement, although I think knowing how to read music already has given me an upper hand, and allowed me to modify a few things to suit us. I do like that the songs really are fun and have interesting harmonizations that you want to play.

Finally, today K and I went to see "Judy Moody and the Not Bummer Summer". It was showing at Colonial Park Mall for only $2 a ticket in the afternoon (check out www.funtimecinemas.com for locations in York, Lancaster, and Harrisburg). A lady in front of us paid for 2 adults, 4 kids, and popcorn for the kids, and still only paid $33! These theaters tend to show movies that have been out for several months, so there aren't any new releases. If you're like us, this hardly matters since we don't seem to get to the theater for opening weeks anyway. And you surely can't beat those prices!

The movie centers on Megan MacDonald's book character, Judy Moody, who is determined to have an exciting summer. She creates a race between her friends to score points for every exciting thing that they do. Unfortunately for Judy, none of her 'fun' plans seem to work out, but in the end, Judy realizes that fun is where you find it. Not a bad message to remember this summer for all of us.

So--even if you haven't rode the tallest rollercoaster, traveled to Borneo, ridden an elephant, or joined the circus this summer, don't worry. The time you spend with your kids is the best adventure for everyone, and the one all of you will cherish.

Take care--keep making those memories!

Checked in with Park City Center for the 2011 back-to-school fashion trends. For girls, sweater ponchos, worker pants (in lots of colors), the tuxedo top (it's big on ruffles), the glam tee and the folk dress. On the boys' lists are rugby shirts, '90s-style hoodies, "Wild West shirts'' (which actually looks more like lumberjack toppers to me), worker chinos and the cardi-coat, which, as you might have guessed, is a kind-of cross between a sweater and a coat.

I'm not particularly interested in the styles, because my daughter is of an age now where my fashion suggestions are cooly received. (I have not,  however, given up my role as fashion censor.) And in these styles I'm reminded once again of fashion's cyclical nature, as the folk dress (peasant dresses of the '70s) and rugby shirts (remember the '80s and '90s) are retailored styles of old -- ok, maybe not so old.

But what really got my attention were the "worker'' pants for, I'm thrilled to note, both boys and girls. I'm banking on the fact that these styles will live up to their labels and bring a fall of tidy bedrooms, clean countertops and an entryway I can maneuver without tripping over backpacks and lunchboxes and sneakers.

K and I attended a unique storytime at the E-town library today: Alpaca storytime! We were outside in the small courtyard next to the library. The librarian read us a story about an alpaca who travels from Michigan to Peru to visit her grandparents, and then we were introduced to the guests of honor: 2 alpacas from Eastland Alpacas in Mount Joy. www.EastlandAlpacas.com

We learned several interesting alpaca facts. They are related to camels and llamas. The only have 2 toes on each foot and need to have their toenails trimmed regularly when living in the pasture. All domestic alpacas are microchipped. They are not for riding, because they cannot carry more than 30% of their body weight. Alpacas only have lower teeth, which need to be filed back occaisionally. They are kept for their fleece, which is used to make yarn for sweaters, socks, and other garments. They are quite gentle and shy creatures, and prefer to live in herds. They come in 20+ natural colors too!

The highlight of the storytime was of course getting to pet the alpacas at the end. I was impressed that K wanted to do this, since she tends to shy away from most dogs, and alpacas are larger than dogs. But she went right up to them and pet them repeatedly. We loved how soft they felt!

You can visit Eastland Alpacas, but please call the farm and make an appointment. They have an open house in November as well: you can feed the alpacas, lead them with their harnesses, and spend lots of quality time with them. Check out more information at their website! And don't forget to check out all of the great programs sponsored by your local library!

Saturday was K's 6th birthday party. This was the first year we threw her a party for her and her friends. We chose to celebrate at our local bowling alley, Clearview Lanes in Mount Joy.

I will admit, I am a horrible bowler (I'm much better on the Wii than I am in real life), but our whole family enjoys going. It's a nice diversion and fairly inexpensive. It can be even less expensive for your kids this summer--check out www.kidsbowlfree.com. You can sign your child up to bowl two free games each day of the summer (you pay for shoes and your own games if you choose to play). There's also an option to purchase a family pass that allows all older family members to bowl for $24.95.

This was a great option for a birthday party, and the price was very reasonable. There are also different prices for parties depending on the food you want and the amount of guests you have. We chose the least expensive option, which allowed for drinks, bowling, and shoes for all participants. We brought our own cupcakes. We had 6 kids total, including our own. All seemed to have a very good time and each kid managed at least one spare during the party. We did have the bumpers up for our lane (these prevent the ball from bowling in the gutter).

Clearview Lanes also offers different family events during the year, including bowling on New Year's Eve. We did this one year, and enjoyed it. We got to decorate our lane for a contest, entered to win door prizes, and the girls liked the glow in the dark bowling. We counted down to 5PM instead of midnight, which made a whole lot more sense for us. My husband and I usually don't stay up that late, even on holidays!

So consider bowling this summer, and check out how to get your kids to bowl for free!

Because I was running late for work this morning, I saw an interview with a mother, her pseudonym is Jennifer Rabiner, on the "Today'' show. The piece described this mother's profound feelings of disappointment in her older daughter, from infancy, which was chronicled in an essay for Redbook magazine (redbookmag.com -- search for Jennifer Rabiner).

Before learning more about her story, I realized that I was immediately hostile toward this woman, but as I learned more I felt more empathy for her -- and, especially for her daughter. It was a struggle to get this child to eat, to sleep, to take an interest in the world around her, to engage with other children. She was a crier, who needed to be rescued. And through it all, her mother seized every opportunity to let her daughter know what a disappointment she was.

Her shocking admission: "As you can imagine,'' this mother wrote, "I felt guilty that I was basically repelled by my own child. But  honestly, the guilt was overshadowed by a colossal sense of disappointment.''

"Sophie'' even began tearing out clumps of her own hair, and later started scratching herself.

It was not until this little one was 7 that she was diagnosed with a growth hormone deficiency.

I'd encourage you to read this mom's story, and, if you're so moved, to share your thoughts here. This is an extreme case, but it also brings up questions about the rest of us: Do we always like the children we love? And perhaps the same question could be asked of them. Is this mom someone to be chastised for the treatment of her daughter, or applauded for seeking help and sharing her story with a wider audience -- where there may be others who feel the same way, and can benefit from her confessions. I don't have the answer.

Don't know how I missed this, but just came across some kid trends for 2011 that were identified earlier this year by Parents magazine on the fourth hour of the "Today'' show. See what you think:

1. Look for little birds, perhaps inspired by the Twitter craze, to adorn nursery decor, toys and children's clothes.

2. Jeggings, which cross a jean look with a legging fit, are hot, hot, hot.

3D. No longer limited to the movie theater, the magazine notes that 3D images are everywhere: latptops, cameras, video games and more. However, this comes with a word of caution. Nintendo has noted that too much 3D viewing can be harmful to the eyes, particularly for children under age 6.

4. Video chatting. Skype, Parents notes, is great for moms and dads who travel and want to keep in touch with their kids. And it's a godsend for families with military parents serving far from their homes. Wonderful, too, for grandparents and other relatives who lives states away.

5. Add to the list spooky toys, perhaps inspired by the "Twilight'' fervor. For little kids, there are stuffed animals like cute bats -- I know, those two words are a weird combo -- and picture books.

6. Movie remakes of the classics: Think "Gnomeo & Juliet."

7. Finally, what Parents call "Mommy and Me Beauty,'' which are lines of lotions and other skin-care products for mom and baby. Some are organic. One among them, California Baby.

What would you add to the list?

Don't know if your cookbooks look like mine, but if they do ... you've got handwritten recipes on their inside covers. Aside from the faded ink and a few water spots, they're still easy to read. I've also got cards and slips of paper falling out of the pages. I know, I need to organize. I'm kind of starting that process as I work on a book of favorite recipes for my daughter.

Meanwhile, this pair of recipes provides  a trip down memory lane, and a pleasant one at that. The first is Smokehouse Spaghetti: Yes, it's a casserole and it's delicious. My picky-eater daughter often requests it. The other is for Rhubarb Cake. Both recipes came from my growing-up days in rural northern Illinois. Enjoy!

SMOKEHOUSE SPAGHETTI

3/4 pound spaghetti

1/4 pound bacon

1 medium onion

1 pound lean ground beef

1/2 t. oregano

1/2 t. garlic salt

1/4 pound Provolone, grated

1/4 pound Cheddar, grated

Salt and pepper to taste

2 (8-ounce) cans tomato sauce

1 (4-ounce) can sliced mushrooms (do not drain)

Saute bacon in skillet. Add onions and ground beef. Brown. Stir in tomato sauce, salt, pepper, oregano, garlic salt and mushrooms with liquid. Simmer 15 minutes. Cook spaghetti in boiling, salted water until tender. Drain. Stir into sauce. Place half of mixture in a buttered 2-quart baking dish. Top with half of two cheeses. Repeat layers. Bake in preheated 350-degree oven about 20-25 minutes.

RHUBARB CAKE

4 cups rhubarb, cut into 1/2-inch pieces

1/2 to 1 cup sugar (depending on preference to mix with rhubarb)

1/2 cup shortening (butter or your choice)

1 1/2 cups sugar

1 egg

2 cups flour

1 t. baking soda

1 cup buttermilk

1/2 t. salt

1 t. cinnamon

1 t. vanilla

Mix rhubarb and 1/2 cup sugar (my recommendation). Set aside until batter is mixed. Cream together shortening and 1 1/2 cups of sugar. Add egg. Add dry ingredients alternately with milk and vanilla. Stir in rhubarb. Bake in greased and floured 9x13-inch pan in preheated 350-degree oven on the lower rack.

This is moist and delicious. The rhubarb settles to the bottom, making a kind of layer cake. You can top with whipped cream, though this is sweet enough on its own. Enjoy!

The flu and other late-winter maladies seem to have a tight grip on Lancaster County. My daughter, who's managed to remain healthy though started coughing a bit last night, said out of the two sixth-grade classrooms at her Penn Manor school, 18 students were absent yesterday. And that's just sixth grade. The illnesses seem to be: upper respiratory ailments (and sinus infections); strep throat; and of course, my favorite, stomach bugs.

And it's crossing the country: My fourth-grade nephew in Chicago called his grandparents last week to announce that he had strep throat. He was actually quite proud of his achievement.

We're pushing Vitamin C, and lots of sleep. Hand washing. Other parent friends are taking preventive measures with Airborne. Hopefully it will work, though right now these illnesses seem to be ganging up on adults and kids alike. Even our dog has been listless.

Stay well, and if you have secrets to keeping the flu, and the doctor away, pass them along.

We cheer our kids as they grow, learn and reach milestones, but for many of us parents, the latter can be bittersweet celebrations. We understand that our children are growing up and older and, if we're doing our jobs right, becoming increasingly independent. Well, allow me to confide, all is extraordinarily bittersweet for me this year as my daughter enters into the final months of sixth grade and, alas, elementary school. She enjoys being at the top of the heap, so to speak, and is increasingly looking ahead to middle school. I, on the other hand, find myself doing a lot of glancing back, thinking about the special moments of first grade, second and third grades ... throughout it all, holding on to each day of sixth grade with a white-knuckled grip.

And so it was yesterday that I assisted with her classmates' final grade-school Valentine's Day party. I made brownies. I helped the teacher ready the room with treats. I filled paper cups with orangeade. I took pictures. But, for the most part, my daughter and her friends didn't need a lot of attending to. Far different from the Valentine's Day party I helped with when my daughter was a little kindergartener. Back then, these same kids, now on the verge of teenhood, delighted at serving as little postmasters and postmistresses at a valentine-filled post office in the corner of their first classroom. The mind plays tricks, because I remember it vividly ... so it must have been only yesterday.

So it is that we move on. And, on this post-Valentine's Day, my heart breaks as it rejoices.  

Well, now I've done it.  I officially have a blog.  I am a trendy.    And like all trendy families, we went bowling today.  That's right I took a 6 year old and a 3 year old bowling.   After setting up this blog, I plan to make myself a medal in Photoshop and print it out, because I deserve it.  Somehow, we made it through 10 frames.  My oldest son's score (thanks to the marvel of bumper bowling) was 103, my younger son's score (thanks to bumber bowling AND those ingenious bowling ramps) was 85,  my husband's score was 99, and mine was 98.  Well, at least I beat the 3 year old, right?  After the last frame, as were packing into the minivan, my older son asks, "Dad, did I beat you?"  My husband replied, "Yes, you did son."  My son said, "Did I beat the good guys in the next lane?" Ah, humility is often delivered by the 6 year old :-)

And there you have it.  Your first official glimpse into my world :-)

Must share one more recipe. I have, literally, made this brunch casserole dozens of times. It's even a nice, special surprise on a cold winter's school day. Your kid will love it. It is ALWAYS a hit. Even with the pick-eaters, my daughter especially. Moreover, it's an easy dish that you make a day-ahead, slip into the refrigerator and pop into the oven the morning you're ready to eat.

This Sausage and Cheese Casserole is from "Betty Groff's Up-Home Down-Home Cookbook.'' It reheats well, though I rarely have leftovers!

SAUSAGE AND CHEESE CASSEROLE

6-8 slices firm white, day-old bread

1½ pounds mild flavored sausage, cooked and drained

4 eggs

1 teaspoon Dijon mustard

1 teaspoon Worcestershire sauce

2 cups milk

¾ cup sharp cheddar cheese, grated

¾ cup Swiss cheese, grated

Place bread in a greased 9-by-13-inch baking dish. You may trim the crusts, if desired. (I don't take the time to do that.)

Distribute sausage over bread. Place eggs, mustard, Worcestershire and milk in a bowl and blend. Sprinkle grated cheeses over sausage and cover with milk mixture. Cover with plastic wrap and allow to sit in the refrigerator overnight.

Bake in preheated 350-degree oven for 30 minutes or until top is golden brown.

Sounds so good to me, I think I'm going to whip one up tonight!

I'm on vacation from work this week, and have been fortunate to spend some time volunteering at my child's school. That's where I was much of today. And I'm glad for it because, once again, I learned something from our kids.

About 15 minutes after the start of the school day, there was a fire drill. It was Friday. Early dismissal. The book fair shelves and displays were still adorning the main hallway, where they remained a tempting diversion for young eyes (and hands).

But when the alarm rang, those kids had a job to do and nothing got in their way. I'm talking 5-year-olds and those readying for middle school. They were up. Quiet. Out the door in orderly single file. They waited on and around the playground for instructions from their principal, and teachers, before reentering the building. It was a sight to behold. I remain impressed.

They take direction better than most adults, I said to the building secretary. And I wasn't kidding.

Just minutes earlier, and on most mornings (and afternoons), the dropoff and pickup lines at schools across Lancaster County are a traffic jam of SUVs and minivans. It can get hairy. And while parents, grandparents and other seemingly able adults have been told (and told and told) the rules, there are always those who can't (won't) follow them -- and in some cases put the safety of children at risk. Unlike their children who understand how their conduct and demeanor could affect their own welfare and that of others, adults can serve as pretty disappointing examples. 

So I'm suggesting that grownups take a cue from our kids. Maybe observe a fire drill or two. And put those lessons to use when we're behind the steering wheels in idling cars, and tempted to swerve around the two vehicles ahead of us because we want to get back home two minutes sooner. Probably not worth the risk, our wise kids would tell us.

For our last trip of the summer, J, K, my mother  and I went to the Hershey Gardens, located near the Hotel Hershey.   www.hersheygardens.org.  J was there when she was younger, but this was K's first time visiting. 

The gardens were created by Mr. Hershey in 1937 after being asked to sponsor a national rosarium in Washington D.C.  Mr. Hershey decided to build his own botanical garden so that the public could come and enjoy it.  Since its inception, the garden has grown to a 23 acre garden, including an Italian Rose Garden, a Japanese garden, an arboretum, and the children's garden.

My girls both enjoy the children's garden, especially the butterfly house.  The butterfly house is an enclosed space with plants and tons of butterflies!  Sometimes they will even land on you.  You sometimes have to watch where you are walking so you don't step on any.  You can also see different chrysalises and cocoons and even some recently hatched butterflies.  K enjoyed carrying around the butterfly guide given to visitors which helped us identify the different butterflies.  The butterfly house is only open until September 12 this year, so hurry in to see them!  Their other favorite is the gigantic Hershey Kiss sculptures that squirt water at random times!

The children's garden also features an alphabet garden, with a plant representing each letter of the alphabet, a sundial that uses your own shadow to create the time, a place to learn fractions using a chocolate bar relief in the concrete (why wasn't learning fractions like that in school?), a bird blind with the perfect tree for kids to climb, and other fun things.  My kids both just love being outside, so even when we were finished in the children's garden, they enjoyed smelling the roses in the Italian garden and just looking at all the different flowers and trees.  J even recalled some things she had learned about the different trees from her nature walks at summer camp. 

Right now, there is also a display called "For the Birds" which runs until September 26.  It's a neat display of over 20 different birdhouses, many made with recycled materials.  They range in look from all natural materials to eclectic (a caboose, one covered in seashells, one carved as an bearded man with a hat).  Visitors are given a ballot at the entrance to the gardens and you can vote for your favorite!  We all enjoyed this, and took our time choosing our favorites.  We finished our day by having a picnic lunch at the tables located just outside the garden entrance. 

I think some folks will wonder if their kids will enjoy anything outside of the children's garden, but mine really did.  If you have outdoorsy kids, they will really enjoy this experience.

School starts Monday!  Although I won't be contributing as much to the blog then, but I plan a "wrap-up" entry for the summer.  Consider it something of a "what we did on our summer vacation" essay.  Thanks for reading!

It's the week before school starts for everyone at our house, which means a lot less time for our activities and blogging.  Back to school means not only shopping for clothes and school supplies for our daughters, but also for my husband and myself.  Teachers need the same things, especially when both of the teachers in this house recently lost weight and have no clothing that fits properly.  Our budget is just about busted, but hey, we look good!

I can tell it's back to school time because the ambient level of bickering in our house has intensified this week.  I know that this is actually a good thing, because both girls are ready for a change of scene.  Mom staying sane while putting up with it is another story.

K and I have a book recommendation:  Kindergarten Rocks by Katie Davis.  It's a cute tale of a boy who is a little nervous about the first day of kindergarten.  Luckily he has a big sister to explain things to him, reminding him that "Kindergarten Rocks!"  He eventually relaxes and has a good day, until he temporarily loses his favorite stuffed dog, Rufus.  Rufus is eventually located in the block area of the room, and Dex realizes that from now on Rufus needs to stay at home.  In the end, he is excited to return for more kindergarten fun.  Having the stuffed dog stay home was a good lesson for K:  she has carted a toy Woody Woodpecker around since birth, and we are constantly reminding her that Woody will need to stay at home.  I think she gets it now, and has been more willing to leave Woody at home or in the car when running errands. 

Today we also made our own ball and cup game using plastic cups, masking tape, string, and plastic knives.  You can find an instructional video at www.FlowCircus.com/srp2010.  I found this site in a roundabout way--our library was giving out free bookmarks, which had this site listed on them.  It's an extremely simple craft and time occupying toy all in one!  It doesn't get any better than this, folks.  If you want more fun, you can also make your own juggling balls, or go to www.fundama.com for more easy to make skill toys.  K got easily frustrated by the game, but I think will come around on it.  J was into it, but also needed a fair amount of practice before having repeated success.  Apparently, this game exists in some form in just about every part of the globe.  You can find out about more history at the Fundama site as well. 

PS--speaking of the library, our lovely state government has once again cut funding to public libraries.  Our library made the news since they are being asked to stay open this week (after planning to be closed the entire week) despite the fact that they are not being funded to do so.  Please, please, please contact Governor Rendell, your state senator and representative, and local government officials and let them know that our public libraries are vitally important to our children and our community members. 

On Thursday, we're scheduled for a trip to the Hershey Gardens, which will likely be our last blog activity for the summer.  Hope you are enjoying your remaining days of summer fun.  Thanks for reading.

The answer to the title question of this entry?  Practice, practice, practice.  The idea of repetition begetting success has hit home here recently, and I'm reminded of the old joke in the title.

Since school is now only weeks away, I'm trying (emphasis on that word!) to get the girls slightly more focused on activities they will do in school.  This is coming in more worksheet like form.  K got sheets on circling letters in a poem and putting together puzzles, both of which she handled with no problems.  J actually asked for a worksheet on long division.  I printed one out after I picked myself up from shock.  I also printed one on fractions.  She did the fraction one last night, with a great deal of frustration.  Again, many of the mistakes were just silly errors, and a result of being out of practice with these skills.  She is such a perfectionist--her perfectionist mother wonders where that must come from. 

We'll attempt the long division page tonight, but with a reminder for her about needing to practice.  I think this will hit home if I tie it in to her clarinet.  She recently received her band tryout piece in the mail and again, had some frustration initially with the challenges of the piece.  Last night, she noticed that sections of the music improved because of her practicing.  I plan to make the same correlation with her math problems.

This is one of the problems I've seen in schools lately.  Teachers have a lot of material to cover for the standardized testing, but little time to allow students to practice those skills.  Unfortnately, the students who take longer to master some skills are the ones who end up suffering.  I'm sure there are plenty of teachers out there who are frustrated by this as well.  I wish there was an easy solution.  I know that not all students have parents who will have the time, energy, patience, and education to give their kids extra time to practice their skills, be it in reading, math, or music.  What happens to those kids?  I don't know, and I worry about them. 

In the meantime, we'll keep practicing.  I'm reminded of a saying I heard once about a stonecutter knowing that the stone doesn't break because of the 1000th blow, but because of all of the blows that came before that one.  Practicing is like that too.  Results will come, and sometimes when you least expect it.

We've returned from a quick but relaxing (and much needed) trip to the beach.  The girls were 4 years younger on the last beach trip, which means K had just turned 1.  It's amazing to see how much they've grown and changed in that time.  We've taken a small break from the brain activities I've been so diligently providing this summer, although J had several beach questions that we're going to figure out, such as, "Why are some waves bigger than others?" and "What makes the tide go in and out?"  I also hope to have her do some more cooking later this week.  The beach did remind me of something, too.  In this society that preaches having the newest and latest gadget, I would much rather spend money on experiences instead of things.  The memories are much more worthwhile to me, and to the girls, I hope.  While I know that J is begging for her own cell phone this year, it's nice to just focus on the basics, like riding the waves, building sandcasters, seeing dolphins, and being together as a family. 

To return to the fun of learning in the summer--one of the math puzzles we're trying is called a KenKen puzzle.  I found these at http://www.education.com/worksheets/middle-school/.  There are several puzzles that are in .pdf form, so you can save them to your computer.  There is a range of difficulty in puzzles, and you can download the answers as well.  KenKen means "wisdom squared" in Japanese.  They are a combination of math and sudoku puzzles.  You need to figure out the computation and only use each number in each row and column once.  I think the first one I chose for J to do may have been too difficult, so we may have to back up to a really basic one.  I've also noticed that often she wants my support and guidance for math more, even though I know she knows how to do the problems (sometimes better than I do, depending on the computation!)  I'm embarrassed to admit that I had to do a lot more review for 5th grade math than I expected, and I'm sure 6th grade this year will not be an improvement for me!  Yikes.  I'll report back on our success later in the week.  I also think her need for support goes back to that logic thing I mentioned in earlier posts--she has difficulty following the reasoning of these kinds of things, so it's good practice for her.

K is working on tying shoelaces, which is a hit or miss skill for her right now.  Just to clear the air, we use the "two bunny ears" method.  Go ahead and laugh (my husband does), but that's how I learned.  I truly cannot do it the other way.  We're also making sure she knows our address well, although she has our phone number including the area code down pat.  Last week, she got the final round of immunizations needed to go to kindergarten, and I think she is actually starting to feel ready to go. 

Finally, a reader recommendation for more math practice:  www.ixl.com (see comments on my entry "A Taste of the Orient").  This mom used this site for her 6 and 9 year old children.  You can select your state and it will ask you problems that relate to your state's standards for testing.  You can do a limited amount of practice problems for free, and it does show you the correct answer when your answer is wrong.  The reader who suggested it says she pays $12/month for both children to use the site as registered members, which allows you more access to the features they provide.  I liked that they made the problems like a fast paced quiz show, which kept it interesting and challenging, but still fun. 

I'm already starting to see back to school signs in stores (for crying out loud, I even saw Halloween stuff at one place that will remain nameless!!)  Time is truly flying by for us this summer.  Have fun and keep learning.  Thanks for reading!

One of K's favorite Lancaster destinations is That Fish Place/That Pet Place, located on Centerville Pike (www.thatpetplace.com).  If you have a kid under the age of 12, you've probably made at least one excursion to this wonderful place.

Yes, it's a humongous pet store.  They have great supplies for all kinds of pets, and a great helpful staff.  If you are one of those families who can't keep a goldfish alive for more than 2 weeks, fear not--there is so much to see at That Fish Place, you don't even need to worry about having your own pet. 

The main entrance leads you in to the pet supply section of the store.  There is a large reptile area immediately to the right.  They have snakes, lizards, turtles, and frogs.  The last time we were there, they had just received a shipment of new snakes, so we watched one of the employees put the snakes into the cages.  The snakes come in pillowcase-like bags--we thought they were empty until we realized they were moving on the countertop!  Some of the reptiles and other animals are permanent residents of the store, with signs on their cages explaining why they came to the store (they got too large, the owner couldn't care for them properly, etc.)  It's a good lesson for all of us, reminding us caring for these creatures is a big responsibility and shouldn't be taken lightly. 

Next, we usually visit the small mammal room, where you can see rabbits, ferrets, mice, rats, hamsters, guinea pigs, and the resident chinchilla.  I had a guinea pig as a kid, so this room brings back fond memories for me (except for having to clean the cage--not my favorite chore).  Usually the ferrets are kept in a large baby play yard, and you can watch them playing or eating, which always amuses K. 

There is a small enclosure with different birds that are very pretty to watch, but noisy!  We also saw a room with cats from the humane society.  The cats and dogs at That Pet Place are all shelter animals that are available for adoption.  Good to see that they are fighting the puppy mill problem and helping to provide forever homes for shelter animals.  More information and adoption fees can be found on the website. 

Before you get to the entrance of That Fish Place, there is a tidal pool where you can reach in and touch anything, including the coral, rocks and skates (fish that look like small stingrays).  There are also regular shows at the tidal pool, where the staff will give you lots of information about the creatures in the tidal pool.  And finally, the fish room--literally row after row of aquarium tanks filled with every kind of fish you can imagine, fresh water and salt water varieties.  There is a new section that is devoted to outdoor ponds, where they sell plants and fish for your own little garden oasis.

K completely loves this place, and I'm sure many more trips are in our future.  Yes, it's a store, and you may have to put up with your child asking you to buy them a new best friend.  But just going to and seeing all the animals is really fun.  Hey, you can always give the goldfish another try. 

I admit it, I am not a math minded person.  I never have been.  Considering that I'm a musician, I've always felt a bit odd that I don't like math more.  After all, the music notation system is all based on fractions.  (My younger students just love it when I tell them that.)  I know that J likes math, but still has her struggles with it, and from what I observe, most of the struggles come from using logic. 

Fortunately, she does like puzzles.  We regularly complete the crossword puzzle in the LancMoms section of the newspaper when it shows up, and she likes Sudoku puzzles.  A few years ago, I acquired her a set of Tangrams.  Tangrams are a set of geometric pieces (five triangles, one square, and one rhomboid) that when placed together, can make certain shapes.  The object is to replicate shapes found in a book or online using all of the "tans" or pieces.  The figures can be random shapes or look like animals or people.  Some of them are REALLY challenging. 

It's a game you can do by yourself or with others.  You can time each other to see how long it takes to figure out the puzzle, or work together.  I found several websites about Tangrams, but this one has lots of free downloads of printables, software, and history of Tangrams, which came from China.  www.tangrams.ca. 

Although I haven't tried it with K, I'm sure even she would like Tangrams.  I know that she would just use the shapes to make her own creations, like she creates her own "words" with Bananagrams.  That's fine.  It's still stretching her mind without her even realizing it, which is my goal with all of these summer activities.

One other small revelation:  J said to me in the car today, "You know, mom, it's not good to be too obsessed with one thing.  If you are, you miss out on a lot of other new experiences."  Wow.  Maybe some days I do get this parent thing right after all.  I'm going to enjoy the moment while it lasts. 

Thanks for reading, and enjoy those little moments. 

I teach at a summer camp this week, so I haven't had as much time for blog entries.  My job this week coupled with J being away at camp means that K and Daddy get to spend some serious quality time together.  They kicked off their week together by going to Lake Tobias on Monday.  I don't have pictures available yet, but I'll try to post some later.

K is my animal lover (although sometimes she worships from a distance).  She is the member of the family who pays the most attention to our elderly cat.  She can identify more wild birds than her older sister and loves going to Zoo America at Hershey.  The last time we went to Lake Tobias she was still a baby in a stroller, but this time she was able to take in the action. 

Lake Tobias Wildlife Park is located in Halifax, PA (www.laketobias.com) and is a combination zoo, petting zoo, and safari tour.  There are animals in enclosures that you can walk around and see, as well as a petting zoo.  My husband said this was K's favorite part.  She was especially attached to a miniature horse in the petting zoo and returned to see it several times.  She was also highly amused by the goats in the petting area, which kept trying to eat Dad's shorts.  The highlight for Dad is always the safari tour.  Guests ride in a converted school bus--the top part of the bus is cut off, kind of like a convertible with a lot of seats.  The driver takes you through the fields, where you can see longhorn cattle, rhea birds, buffalo, elk, sheep and many other animals.  You can buy feed for the animals before the tour.  The driver stops the bus at certain areas and the animals will come right up to you!  The elk will literally climb the steps of the bus.  Dad knows this, so he always tries to sit in the front seat of the bus.  He reports that K nearly crawled under the seat when the elk showed up (hey, they are really huge, especially to a 5 year old!) but she really enjoyed it.  There is also a reptile house and special reptile show.

Admission to the part is $4 per person for ages 3 and up.  The safari tour is $5 per person (ages 3 and up), and the reptile building is $1 per person (ages 3 and up).  We had a buy one get one free coupon for the safari tour from an entertainment book.  There is a concession stand in the park as well.

We've visited Lake Tobias as a family several times in the past when J was young, and I'm sure this won't be our last trip there.  Getting so close the the animals is such a unique experience, one that's hard to duplicate elsewhere.  Lake Tobias is a family run business, and you definitely get the feeling that there is a lot of pride in the park about that.  It's a great place for families, and we all highly recommend a trip there. 

I don't know where she gets these ideas, but K wanted to try origami, the Japanese art of paper folding.  She's actually asked repeatedly.  Since J started some of her summer activities this week (basketball camp and summer ballet classes), tonight seemed like a good night to try.  I had some leftover origami paper and instruction books from the last time I did this craft, which was probably when J was younger. 

K's favorites were a crane that could flap its wings when you pulled the tail, and a small paper balloon that you can actually blow up.  I got the paper into the correct position and let her do the actual folding.  It's not as neat this way, but it kept her involved.  After doing a butterfly, the flapping crane, and balloon, she decided she would "do some herself."  Translated, this meant that she would take a piece of paper, fold it a million different ways, then proudly show me and say, "Look, mommy!  I made a (bird/plane/table/sleeping bag/clapping hands, etc.)"  She did notice how folding the paper made different shapes, which surprised me.  The book we used mentioned that Japanese children are taught origami at a young age because it teaches them geometry and improves their calligraphy by making their fingers more nimble! 

If you don't have origami paper, squares of wrapping paper will work, or just regular paper.  If it's not square, you'll need to cut it into that shape, since almost all origami uses square pieces of paper.  Your library is a great source for how-to books.  We have "Origami Inspired by Japanese Prints" by Steve and Megumi Biddle (The Metropolitan Museum of Art:  Viking).  It has easy to follow instructions, great step-by-step pictures for those who are all thumbs, and ties the origami to Japanese prints shown in the book, as well as historical and cultural explanations in simple terms.  Online there are some cute, easy, kid-friendly ideas at http://www.origami-instructions.com/origami-for-kids.html. 

Kids are usually fascinated by this craft, and it does have a magical element to it.  Taking a regular piece of paper and folding it into a bird, rabbit, or panda--it's like creating an instant toy!  Both of my girls enjoy it, even my older one.  Give it a try--the easy designs are pretty forgiving, and chances are your kids will want to try creating their own, like mine did. 

And so, "Sayonara" (goodbye in Japanese) from Lancaster County!  See you next time!

Today--a free day for everyone in the family, so we took a day trip to the Gettysburg battlefield.  I haven't been there since I was middle school aged.  I just finished reading "The Killer Angels" by Michael Shaara, a historical fiction book about the battle.  I knew as soon as I finished the book I wanted to revisit the battlefield. 

The visitor's center at the battlefield is very nice, and still fairly new.  There is a cafeteria, snack bar, and ice cream on the deck.  You can also buy tickets to see the cyclorama and movie which are housed there, although we did not do this.  We visited the bookstore/gift shop, but kept our souvenirs to those pennies that you put through the machine and smash them into an oval shape.  They did have numerous cool penny souvenirs (in homage to Lincoln), as well as books, T-shirts, figurines, etc.  If you're a Civil War buff, you'll probably find something you can't live without.  The food at the center was slightly more than you'd pay at McDonalds ($24 for all four of us) but portions were substantial.  We also had a good time looking at all the different license plates in the parking lot.  J was impressed that people from all over the country come here, and realized that it was something important and special.

Our first stop was a walk to the Soldier's National Cemetery, where Lincoln gave his Gettysburg address.  On the way there, we could see parts of the battlefield, some monuments, and a house that was used as a hospital.  The girls were very interested in this, and had a hard time initially--"But it just looks like a house!"  We had to explain to them that they used what was nearby out of necessity.  Our visit to the cemetery was personal--my husband has a uncle (a WWII vet) who is buried there.  We got directions from a ranger at the visitor's center, who told us where to find the grave.  We found it handily and snapped a few pictures.  Uncle Tom was only 30 years old when he was killed--one of the heroes of "The Greatest Generation."

We drove the self-guided auto tour of the battlefield, leaving the car at certain points for better views.  It's very well marked, and you can take as much or as little time as you want at various stops.  I read from the brochure as we reached certain points on the tour, so we all could understand what had happened at each location.  Monuments are almost everywhere you turn, something I hadn't remembered from my childhood.  K commented repeatedly about all of the cannons.   Looking down on the field from the height of Little Roundtop, you can see Devil's Den, where the Confederates stationed their snipers, as well as the field where Pickett's famous charge was held.  As I stood there, I was picturing the smells, sights, and noise of the battle.  It was hard for me to imagine how a Confederate sniper could hit anything at that distance, but a ranger commented they could hit a target from 1000 yards, and the distance from the top of Little Roundtop to Devil's Den was only half that distance. 

We were initially a little worried that K would be bored, but she loved being outside, seeing the different monuments, and climbing the stairs at the Pennsylvania monument to take in the view.  We knew J was old enough to have some appreciation for the place, and did a brief history lesson on the Civil War before arriving.  She had only studied the Revolutionary War this year in school, so now she has a little bit of a head start on the Civil War.  She did mention that many of her classmates have visited the battlefield.  When I asked her what she thought of the place, she said "It was cool.  It was a lot bigger than I expected it to be." 

I hope we'll be able to take another trip to the battlefield someday.  We are so lucky to live near this amazing national treasure.  If you're one of those folks who always says, "We should go to Gettysburg.  We live so close, and we've never been there,"  please take the time to go, especially if you have kids in the 9-12 age range.  They will certainly be old enough to understand some of the importance of this hallowed ground.  I know I have a new appreciation for it after today's visit. 

J had the opportunity to spend the day with a good friend, which allowed me some one on one time with K.  Although I still (and probably always will) think of her as my baby, I realize she is 5 years old now, and growing up.  I don't stress as much about building in educational things with her, mostly because she asks about 10,000 questions a day.  I figure me answering all of that is educational in itself.  Seriously, there just seem to be millions of chances to build learning for her every day, so I try to take advantage of the little moments. 

I would like to say a special thank you to the wonderful people at Crayola, who provided our arts and crafts activities today.  Since I was quite tired from lack of sleep the previous night, I was not in a very inventive mood.  We colored with those fabulous Color Wonder markers--you know, the ones that only work on the special paper.  For those looking for extra bling, there are now sets with glitter that you can "paint" over your picture for added pizazz.  Our set features Tinkerbell.  We gave her the proper glitter treatment in her portraits today.

We also used a Crayola Model Magic kit which allowed us to build an alien like creature.  You covered a plastic base with the Model Magic clay, then used a tool to create little dots and starts to attach to the outside of the creature.   You can find more activities, free coloring pages, and product information at www.crayola.com. 

Maybe the best part of doing these things together was just the chance to talk about things.  Of course, a 5 year old's thought process is quite random, but that's part of the charm.  I realized there's a lot going on in that little head when she asked me why Catrina (the baby caterpillar on the Oswald TV show) doesn't ever grow up and become a butterfly. 

Finally, a book recommendation.  K and I both love the Llama Llama books by Anna Dewdney.  We've read Llama Llama Mad at Mama and Llama Llama Misses Mama.  "Misses Mama" talks about going to preschool for the first time.  Although K has attended preschool, she's asking a lot of questions about kindergarten, so this fits our life nicely right now.  "Mad at Mama" was recommended by my sister.  In this one, the little llama must run errands with Mama, but gets impatient.  He eventually throws a fit in the store.  Mama Llama calms him, has him help clean the mess, and then treats him to ice cream.  My sister points out that she needed to remind her son that little llama gets the ice cream BECAUSE he cleaned up, not because he made the mess.  Both books have rhyming prose that's fun to hear, and the pictures are really cute.  Check them out at your local library.

I guess my own little caterpillar is turning into a butterfly before my eyes.  This is just the beginning of a whole new world for her, and I love watching it unfold.  Until next time, enjoy the little moments. 

On a whim, I bought K a "bug kit" and the dollar store a few days ago.  The kit consisted of a clear plastic tub with a vented lid for observing the bugs and a small net for catching them.  I didn't honestly anticipate that she'd catch anything, but figured she might have some luck with fireflies.  I should have known better. . .

Yesterday, both girls were outside with the bug kit when I heard, "Mom!  You've got to come and see this bug!  It's huge!"  Hearing the words "huge" and "bug" in the same sentence never gives me a warm and fuzzy feeling, but in the name of science and providing learning opportunities for all of you Lancaster County moms and kids, I went to investigate. 

They were right.  It was a very huge bug.  White with black spots, with an orange body underneath.  Something about it didn't look right.  With my husband laughing at me, I caught the bug in the box on my second attempt.  After making sure that lid was on darn tight, we had a closer look. 

We had caught a moth, specifically a Giant Leopard Moth--that's the picture that's attached to this entry.  It had likely just hatched from its cocoon, because it could only crawl around and the wings still looked somewhat slimy.  The body was quite large--probably an inch and a half in length.  Turns out these critters live in in the Eastern US, from Massachusetts down to Florida.  We studied it briefly and then returned it to the same place in the yard where we found it.  I looked up the bug online at www.bugguide.net to find out what kind of moth we'd discovered.  They have a clickable guide that you can search, which makes it easy.  There are many photos of bugs that people from all over submit to the site (who knew--bugwatching?)  If your kid is into bugs, the bug kit (or even just an empty butter tub with holes in the lid) and the Internet are a great place to start learning more. 

Even I have to admit, the moth was quite pretty to look at, but I was still quite happy to let it go back to living in my neighborhood.  My husband tells me that in the Philippines there are beetles as big as your hand.  Ewww.  I'll stick to Pennsylvania bugs. 

We have A LOT of trees in our yard.  Big ones.  We love them in the spring and summer for their shade and leaves, and are not so fond of them in autumn, when we are cleaning up those leaves.  It's practically a neighborhood requirement to own a leafblower.  During that 3 hour long thunderstorm on Memorial Day, an ash tree in the side yard started to pull out of the ground.  By the end of the week, it fell over, mercifully missing the house.  And yes, a tree DOES make a sound when it falls in the forest! 

We had the tree cut up into firewood lengths that we plan to use in our fire pit out back.  This also led to a great opportunity to figure out how old the tree was.  First we estimated the age of the tree--J guessed 100 years, K guessed 80 years.  Then, starting in the middle, we counted the rings.  We found 73.  I took a pen and marked the tree rings when each of us were born, the year the house was built, and calcualted when the tree was born.  I also showed the girls how some rings were larger than others, indicating the tree grew more in those years, perhaps due to good weather and growing conditions. 

I'll be honest--they were not as fascinated with this process as I was, and it didn't hold their interest for a terribly long time, although the entire activity wasn't time consuming either.  But hopefully they learned a little something about the trees around us and could appreciate nature a bit more.  J did mention a large tree section in the nature center where she goes to summer camp, so she did relate this experience to a past one. 

I know it's hard for them to really understand how different the world would have been in the 1930's, when the tree first started growing.  It's a bit hard for me, too!  Yet in a world where everything seems to happen in an instant and we're told that the newest things must be the greatest, it's nice to take a moment to appreciate something lasted way longer than some electronic gadget. 

My daughter and I just finished watching Kevin Sullivan's "Anne of Green Gables'' movies, a Canadian made-for-television series. We loved them, and HIGHLY recommend them. The first of the three movies was made in the mid-1980s. They're absolutely great family viewing, but keep in mind that each movie is 3 to 4 hours, so you might want to pace yourself. The characters are rich, and the scenery beautiful. My daughter has read all but the last two of the "Anne'' book series. She gave lower marks to the final movie adaptation, "The Continuing Story,'' because it strayed too far from the book plot. It was also the darkest of the three. The first two movies get a cumulative four thumbs up from us! The movies are great for a rain day, and, according to my daughter, the books are wonderful fare rain or shine. Although I haven't read them, I will now.  

Am I one of the only mortals left who has not yet read even a single sentence from the "Twilight'' saga by Stephenie Meyer? I think I'm going to have to succumb to the hysteria and get a look at what has so many people crazy for these books -- and movies. (And I'm not just talking kids -- I'm talking moms, too. Many of my friends and family have devoured every page.)

"New Moon,'' the second in the vampire saga, debuts in theaters Friday and I must admit all the fuss has me a little more than curious. I loved scary books when I was younger, and remember curling up on the sofa in the den to watch oooooold Bela Lugosi movies late at night. OK, I know "Twilight'' is a far cry from that. My niece, who is in love with Robert Pattinson and has his pictures all over her room, might roll her eyes at me just about now.

Still, I think my daughter, 10, is too young for the books. Does anybody out there have a different opinion? And what about the movies? Something we should be sinking our teeth into? (Sorry, couldn't resist!) Help from moms who know something about this would be as welcome as a sunset to a castle full of vampires. (Sorry, again!) 

In about 24 hours, we will all be packing my car to head towards Philadelphia for The Breast Cancer 3-Day.  Our team of four mamas is so excited even with what looks like will be a soggy weekend.  Twenty miles a day isn't easy, but is doable.  Twenty miles with wet sneakers is a different story.  We're all doing our "anti" rain dance right now!

But even with the forecast, our excitement is building.  We may look like drowned rats or have the sniffles on Monday but we haven't come this far to quit.  Quitting is not an option.  With $10,000 raised and new sneakers and ponchos, we are ready to take on Philadelphia.  More importantly, we are ready to take the steps to end breast cancer.  Our battle won't end with the walk.  It ends when there is a cure.  Whether we walk the 3-Day again or find another event, we will keep fighting.  Shouldn't every woman?

We all know that an event like this one can change our lives. We're not sure how, but know that we will all be better for participating in the 3-Day.    We will be sure to let you all know how the weekend went.  Our next blog will be coming soon...

On October 16, 2009 our team of four women will be participating in The Breast Cancer 3-Day Walk in Philadelphia.  The Breast Cancer 3-Day Walk is a three day, 60 mile walk that raises money for breast cancer research.  Our team has the opportunity to blog our thoughts and experiences throughout our journey.  Each week one "mama" will be writing about her experiences leading up to the walk.  We call ourselves "Mamas with a Mission", and I am Mama 4.

Here I sit less than two weeks away from what I have been preparing for for over one year.....I'm not sure I'm physically ready, but I know I'm mentally ready.  As I have mentioned before, I had the opportunity and great privilege to complete The 3-Day two years ago with a team of my sorority sisters from Millersville University.  It was a life changing event, and I know that I am going to get so much more from the experience this time as well.  I am excited to experience every little bit of the three day walk as I did before (blisters, sore muscles and all!).  I am excited to watch my three very good friends experience this amazing journey for the first time.  And, I'm excited to see if my 32 year old body can do this again!

As our team gets closer and closer to the walk, we are consumed with whether we have all of our money raised (which we do, and we reached our $10,000 goal as well!), do we have all the supplies we will need, do we have the "right" sneakers, are we physicallly ready, etc, etc.  What I have to continue to remind myself is that this walk isn't about US.  It's about the thousands and thousands of families who have been affected, are being affected, and will be affected by this terrible disease. 

During the next two weeks as I continue to prepare for the walk, I will need to make sure that I continue to walk and prepare my body.  I will need to make sure that I have all of the supplies that I will need for the three days (rain or shine).  And, I will need to make sure that our team is organized and ready to go.

This has been an amazing year of raising money, spreading the word about The Breast Cancer 3-Day, training for the 60 miles, and becoming closer with three amazing moms who I am lucky enough to complete this walk with in two weeks.  I'm proud of myself, and I am proud of my team of four "mamas" from Lancaster.....we have achieved so much, and it is not over yet.

Here I come 60 miles!  I'm not sure I'm ready for you, but I'm determined to make this another experience to remember.  And, I'm determined to cross the finish line on the third day looking for my two little girls in the crowd, hoping and praying that they never have to walk in The 3-Day when they are older.

An "American Idol'' family we are not. But when the new season of "Dancing With the Stars'' begins, as it does tonight, count us in. We love it!! I don't know what it is about the show that hits just the right steps for us ... maybe it's the music, the costumes, the glitz, the fact that it's live TV, or the pleasure of watching people move around a dance floor in the tech-obsessed 21st century. Or maybe it's just that it's one show that my daughter and I both enjoy, and can spend time watching together.

We critique along with the judges (often we spend as much time evaluating Len, Bruno and Carrie Ann as the dancers themselves) even though I understand even less about dance than my ballet-student daughter. But we have learned more than we ever thought we'd know about the waltz, the samba and the quick step.

I'm biased this season. I'll be pulling for my favorite "Dancing'' pro, Kym Johnson, who's paired with one of my teen idols, Donny Osmond. (Yeah, go ahead. Try and figure out how old I am. Shouldn't be too tough.) My daughter is taking a wait-and-see attitude, however. She says she wants to assess the talent. I have a meeting tonight -- argh! -- so my daughter's going to fill me in on what I miss. Hope it isn't too much.

See you on the dance floor, or more correctly in our case, on the living room sofa!

Safety Belt Fit Test

Test all children under age 13 to be sure they are big enough to safely wear the adult safety belt without a booster seat:

a. Have the child sit all the way back on the vehicle seat. Check to see if the knees bend at the seat edge. If they bend naturally, move on to the next step. If they do not, return to the booster seat.

b. Buckle the lap and shoulder belts. Be sure the lap belt lies on the upper legs or hips. If it stays on the upper legs or thighs, move on to the next step. If it does not, return to the booster seat.

c. Be sure the shoulder belt lies on the shoulder or collarbone. If it lies on the shoulder, move on to the next step. If it is on the face or neck, return to the booster seat. DO NOT place the shoulder belt under the arm or behind the child's back!

d. Be sure your child can maintain that correct seating position for as long as you are in the car. If your child begins to slouch or shift positions so the safety belt contacts the face, neck or stomach, return your child to the booster seat until all the test steps can be met.

Require your child to use a safety belt in every vehicle, whether or not you are there to remind him or her.

What You Need to Know

Once your child passes the Safety Belt Fit Test, require him or her to use safety belts in a back seat on every ride, whether or not you are there. A lap and shoulder belt provides the best protection to your child and helps to maintain the correct seating position.

SAFETY BELTS

• Move children from booster seats to safety belts in a back seat only after the child passes the Safety Belt Fit Test in every vehicle. Return your child to a booster seat if the safety belt does not fit perfectly.

• Use the Safety Belt Fit Test on any child you transport in your car.

• Ensure that all kids sit upright when using safety belts. Never let them lean against windows or car doors or lie down. Never put the shoulder belt under the child's arm or behind the child's back.

• Tell every driver who transports your child that safety belt use is a must when your child is in their vehicle.

• Teach your child to use a safety belt in a back seat in every vehicle he or she uses. This is most important when the child rides in vehicles driven by family and friends.

• Wear your safety belt correctly every time you are in a car. Children learn from adult role models.

• Get help with your child's seat belt by contacting a Safe Kids coalition near you.

Safety Belt Fit Test

• 1 - Have your child sit all the way back on the vehicle seat. Do his or her knees bend at the front edge of the seat? If they bend naturally, go to #2. If they don't, return to the booster seat.
  

• 2 - Buckle the lap and shoulder belt. Be sure the lap belt lies on the upper legs or hips. If it does, go to #3. If it lies on the stomach, return to the booster seat.
  

• 3 - Be sure the shoulder belt rests on the shoulder or collarbone. If it does, go to #4. If it's on the face or neck, return to the booster seat. Never put the shoulder belt under the child's arm or behind the child's back.
  

• 4 - Check whether your child maintains the correct seating position for as long as you are in the car. If your child slouches or shifts positions so the safety belt touches the face, neck or stomach, return your child to the booster seat.

What You Need to Know

Use a booster seat with the vehicle lap and shoulder safety belts until your child passes the Safety Belt Fit Test.

Vehicle safety belts are designed to fit an average-sized adult. Children usually need a booster until they are about 4 feet 9 inches tall and weigh between 80 and 100 pounds to get the best protection from a safety belt.

Take the next step to the safety belt when you answer "yes" to these questions:

• Does your child exceed the booster seat's height or weight limits?

Does your child pass the Safety Belt Fit Test?

1. Have your child sit in a back seat with their bottom and back against the vehicle's seat back.  Do the child's knees bend at the seat's edge?  If yes, go on.  If not, the child must stay in a booster seat.

2. Buckle the seat belt.  Does the lap belt stay low on the hips?  If yes, go on.  If it rests on the stomach, the child must stay in a booster seat.

3. Look at the shoulder belt.  Does it lay on the collarbone and shoulder?  If yes, go on.  If it's on the face or neck, the child must remain in a booster seat.

• Never put the shoulder belt under the child's arm or behind the child's back. Do not allow children to play with the shoulder portion of a seat belt. Treat it like any cord.

4. Can the child maintain the correct seating position with the shoulder belt on the shoulder and the lap belt low across the hips?  If yes, the child has passed the Safety Belt Fit Test.  If no, the child should return to a booster seat and re-test in a month. 

40 to 80 or 100 pounds

• Use a booster seat correctly in a back seat every time your child rides in a car.

• Older kids get weighed and measured less often than babies, so check your child's growth a few times a year. Use a booster seat until your child weighs between 80 and 100 pounds, is about 4 feet, 9 inches tall and can pass the Safety Belt Fit Test. For most children, that will be between ages 8 and 12.

• Tell all drivers who transport your child that booster seat use is a must when your child is in their vehicle.
  

• A booster seat uses no harness. It uses the vehicle's lap and shoulder belts only. Be sure the safety belt is properly buckled.
  

• Booster seats are not installed the same way car seats are. They sit on the vehicle seat and are used to properly position the adult safety belt for an older child. Always use a lap and shoulder belt with a booster seat.
  

• Never place the shoulder belt under the child's arm or behind the child's back.
  

• Be sure all occupants wear safety belts correctly every time. Children learn from adult role models.

• Get help with your child's booster seat by contacting a Safe Kids coalition near you.

Parents should use the Safety Belt Fit Test on every child under 13 you transport. All children under age 13 should ride properly restrained in a back seat.

What You Need to Know

Use a forward-facing car seat (convertible or combo seat) until the harness no longer fits. Take the next step to a booster seat when you answer "yes" to any of these questions:

• Does your child exceed the car seat's height or weight limits?

• Are your child's shoulders above the car seat's top harness slots?

• Are the tops of your child's ears above the top of the car seat?

Older than age 1 and more than 20 pounds

• Use a forward-facing car seat correctly in a back seat every time your toddler rides in a car.
  

• Use the right car seat with a harness for your toddler's weight and height. Toddlers are weighed and measured at every doctor visit, so be sure to keep track.

• Use the car's safety belt or LATCH system to lock the car seat into the car. Your car seat should not move more than one inch side to side or front to back. Grab the car seat at the safety beltpath or LATCH path to test it.

• Put harnesses through the slots so they are even with or above the child's shoulders. Some seats require use of the top slots when the seat is forward-facing, so check instructions.

• Be sure the harness is tight, so you can't pinch extra webbing at the shoulder.

• Use a top tether if your vehicle and car seat are both so equipped. Tethers limit the forward motion of your child's head in a crash. If you don't have them, contact your car dealer.

• Adjust the chest clip to armpit level.

• A child is too big for the seat when the shoulders are above the top slots, the tops of the ears are above the back of the seat or the weight limit is exceeded. If you have a heavier or taller child, find a car seat with a harness that fits larger children. Some seats hold children up to 80 pounds.
  

• Be sure all occupants wear safety belts correctly every time. Children learn from adult role models.

• Get help with your child's car seat by contacting a Safe Kids coalition near you.

How's it going moms, dads, grandparents? I don't know about all of you, but we're into Week 2 of school and things are pretty quiet. And that's good news. So I'm giving myself a solid B+ as a supporting player in my daughter's educational/extracurricular endeavors. On the upside, we're sticking with routines and a good bedtime. Lunches, when she's not buying at school, are made the night before. By my daughter. Homework is done on time and, since our near miss at the bus stop on the first day, we've done a much better job of getting to the transport on schedule -- even after the pickup time was changed to a terrifying five minutes earlier. My daughter made it to school with her viola for the first fall lesson. I've even managed to whip up a few comfort-food meals. Best of all, she loves school.

This week is the test, however, as we take a courageous leap into all of her activities. On the downside, I forgot to sew the elastic straps on her new ballet shoes -- something we realized as we raced out the door for her first class of the season last night. (The old, tight shoes had to do.) When we arrived, we realized her pointe shoes were still on her bed. So it was back home, then back to class. BUT, we put all of the Girl Scout patches on her vest last night. Twenty-four hours before the meeting! You have no idea what a triumph that was! And I've even remembered that I need to take a few dozen cookies with me to tomorrow night's PTO meeting, which falls after "Meet the Teacher.'' Stll, I  can't shake this nagging feeling that I'm forgetting something.

Has anyone seen the dog?

Child Passenger Safety Week

This is a great week to take a good look at your car seats and make sure they are the right one for your child and installed correctly.   I have been a certified car seat technician and instructor since 2006 and have seen many missteps and misuses with car seats they all start with great intentions and are easily solved with good instruction.  This week I would like to feature a topic each day to give you all some valuable information.

I would like to start out the week focusing on some basic information about purchasing a car seat and installation.

When purchasing a car seat you want one that is right for your child, fits in your car and you will use correctly every time. 

PUCHASING:

•-           Make sure the seat your are purchasing fits the stage, weight and height of your child

•-          When considering a used seat the best practice is not to use one.  However if you insist on using a second had seat you need the following:

•o   Most importantly do you know the history of the seat,  if the seat was ever in an accident do not use it.

•o   Is it more than 6 years old?  On every car seat is a manufactured date.  If the car seat is more than six years old the recommendation is not to use it.  The main reason is that manufactures do not trust how the plastic will hold up over time. 

•o   Does it have the owner's manual, this is very important so that you understand how to install the seat.

•o   Are all the stickers on the seat or do you see any damage? 

•-           New Seats:

•o   With new seats we often see the parent or grand parent who has purchased what they feel is the best seat on the market.  When we get it out of the box it is to big for their car.  Most car seat dealers will let you take there demo seats to your car and you can see how they fit. 

•o   There is also an ease of use rating on the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration web site (www.nhtsa.gov) This web site lets the consumer know about the ease of installation.  This is not however a rating of which seat is safer.  All the seats on the market meet the same standards set by NHTSA.

INSTALLATION:

•-           Make sure you have both the car seat manual and the vehicle manual when you are installing your car seat. 

•-          Decide if you are going to use the LATCH system or the vehicles seat belt system to install the car seat

•o   They are both safe but do not use them both at the same time.

•o   Try using both systems and see which one you use better.

•-          To make sure the seat is tight enough pull on back and forth and side to side where the seat belt is and it should move less than an inch.  It does not have to rock the car back and forth.

 The Harness should be tight enough that you can not pinch any material at the top.  The retainer clip (which is the plastic clip you snap together) should be at arm pit level.  This prevents internal injuries.

•-        

When my daughter was being evaluated to determine if she had ADD, the psychiatrist asked me if I had ever noticed, when I was talking with my daughter, maybe even asking her a question, that she appeared to have not heard me, despite the fact that she was looking right at me and could obviously hear my words.  As it turns out, what I thought was her being willful and rude was actually another symptom of her Inattentive Type ADD.

After her diagnosis, I found myself spending a lot of time where I find myself right now:  on the computer.  By reading information from a number of websites, I found that those who have Inattentive Type ADD are often never diagnosed!  The reason makes a lot of sense.  Kids with ADD who have the Hyperactive Type are easy to find in a classroom; they may have trouble sitting still or not talking when the teacher is in the middle of a lesson. 

In contrast to these children who become energized by stimulating situations, kids with a diagnosis of Inattentive Type ADD become overwhelmed by them.  To make this even more of a challenge, they also share the other ADD problems of having difficulty tracking details, keeping focused on conversations or trains of thought, and staying organized.  Some articles referred to the term "passive daydreamers."  They appear to be listening, to be looking right at you, but their mind has wandered off.  How could I expect my child to do well in school if this is what her brain was "doing to her?!!" 

I spoke with my daughter's guidance counselor about her diagnosis, and asked her to relay to my daughter's teachers the need for some additional support from them.  As her grades declined from A's to B's, I could accept that middle school was more challenging than elementary school - that's obvious.  I am realistic in my expectations; she doesn't need to have straight A's.  But when I check her grades online and see that she gets 105% on her test and 0%'s for homework, and is therefore getting a C on her report card, something is amiss!  Never was I so dismayed and concerned about her teachers' lack of understanding as the day a teacher told me "We have students getting D's and F's; we can't spend time on the ones getting C's."

Realistically, I am not yet sure how this "high school thing" will go.  I emailed her new guidance counselor the week before school began, but I have not yet gotten a response.  Meet-The-Teacher Night is coming up soon.  The current plan invovles my daughter writing her homework down in her assignment book which I check each night.  Of course, when I checked it today, there was nothing written for last Thursday.  The result of this error was Speech Number Eleven:  "Why You Must Fill Out Your Homework Assignment Notebook Every Day."  And while that particular speech lasts about three minutes in "real time," the Mary Poppins version is "Well begun is half done." 

It is difficult to strike the balance.   I struggle with knowing which is worse, allowing my daughter to fail or negatively impacting our relationship (and my SANITY!) because what we spend most of our time "saying" to each other is what sounds  like "nagging."  It is very hard to know when that Inattentive Type diagnosis ends and that fourteen year old begins.  I guess it is also going to require teaching some teachers, too.  I really think they need to be on my "team," as we tackle this together!

On October 16, 2009 our team of four women will be participating in The Breast Cancer 3-Day Walk in Philadelphia.  The Breast Cancer 3-Day Walk is a three day, 60 mile walk that raises money for breast cancer research.  Our team has the opportunity to blog our thoughts and experiences throughout our journey.  Each week one "mama" will be writing about her experiences leading up to the walk.  We call ourselves "Mamas with a Mission", and I am Mama 4.

As I mentioned in my first blog, I am Mama 4 and the captain of our wonderful team.  I want to use this blog to recap our So Long to Summer Fling that we had on August 22 at the Millersville VFW.  It was an amazing night which brought in almost $4500!!!  This great evening helped our team reach our $10,000 goal!  We couldn't have asked for more, especially since it was our first year organizing such a large fundraiser.

The night consisted of dancing, drinks, food, a Chinese Auction, a washers tournament, and a head-shaving contest!  We had a little bit of everything.

We were blessed to find a great DJ, Scott Powell, who was nice enough to give us a discounted rate for the evening.  He did a great job, and he got everyone up dancing throughout the night. 

We worked hard at finding local vendors who would be willing to donate food for the evening's event.   Bakeries, grocery stores, and restaurants throughout Lancaster County were kind enough to donate some wonderful food.  A Loaf of Bread, The Cake Creator, Cravings Deli, Wendy Jo's Cookies, Weis Market, Giant, and Darrenkamps were just a few places who generously donated food.

We also had an amazing Chinese Auction set up for everyone who attended.  We had over 75 items donated to our Chinese Auction.  Everything from gift certificates to local restaurants, car washes, golf courses, and hair salons to hot air balloon rides and weekends in Ocean City, NJ were up for auction.  Our biggest item was a 3-month, family of four membership to Universal Gym in Manheim Township.  It was a $700 value, and helped us raise a lot of money.

We also had a washers tournament set up on one side of the room.  Teams of two signed up for the competition, and the winners and runners-up all received prizes.  Everyone who played had a great time!

The most fun of the evening came from a competition between our four husbands.  The four men had to see who could raise the most money during the evening.  Whoever raised the most had to shave his hair right there at the dance!  What a great idea, and what a great way to signify what some women have to go through during their battle with breast cancer.

I consider myself truly blessed to be on a team of such hardworking women...it takes a lot to pull off an event like this, especially when there are only 4 of you!  Everyone who came that evening told us how much fun they had and what a great event it was.  Someone even mentioned to me that we need to be prepared to do this every year!  What great compliments to receive.

Thank you to everyone who made this such a wonderful evening.  Whether you came to the event, donated something to the evening or helped pull the entire event off - we should all be proud of raising $4500 for such a great cause.  Now, onto preparing for the 60-mile journey in October.

Today is the day: I'm selling my daughter's first bicycle, complete with training wheels and helmet. She outgrew the 16-inch Barbie bike a long time ago, but it's been hard for me to part with yet another tangible reminder of her littler years -- even though she's pedaled far beyond those days. So I've filled out the card that will go on our for-sale sign at work. Gosh, it's hard to let go. If that isn't enough, she informed me yesterday that it's time to clean up the bulletin board in her room. I truly didn't know what she was talking about. But then I went in and took a good long look. It is layered with pre-kindergarten art projects and mementos of toddlerhood, pictures of her when she was a baby. It's all little-kid stuff, she told me in an exasperated tone, "and I'm going into fifth grade.'' Oh how sobering to realize that the board in her room was really more for me than it was for her. So tonight, down comes the baby and up goes the tween. Where is the time going? 

Over the next few months our team of four women will be blogging about our experiences in training and preparing for The Breast Cancer 3-Day Walk.  The Breast Cancer 3-Day is a three day, 60 mile walk, and we will be walking in Philadelphia this coming October.  Each week leading up to the walk, one "Mama" from our team will be writing about her experiences through this incredible journey.  We call ourselves "Mamas with a Mission" and I am Mama 4!

I am the captain of our team, and I am also the only participant who has done the walk before.  I was supposed to walk the 3-Day in September of 2005 with 12 of my sorority sisters from Millersville University.  We worked very hard raising money for the event and spreading the word about The Breast Cancer 3-Day Walk (In 2005, no one had ever heard of this event).  Unfortunately, I was unable to participate in the actual walk because I found out I was pregnant with my second child shortly before the walk took place.  I was very disappointed to not be able to participate in the actual event, because I had put so much time and effort into the entire process!

Two years later in 2007, the team decided to do the walk again.  This time I was able to participate again and I actually completed the walk with my team!  What an amazing experience!  It is a truly life changing event, and it is something that has changed my life forever.  To not only know that I raised money to help women who are battling cancer, to honor women who have fought the battle, and to hopefully prevent women from needing to walk in the future was beyond words.

True, it was a physically demanding three days.  But, the emotional joy and rewards that I received made the blisters, sore muscles, and tired feet all worth it.  Walking the streets of Philadelphia, we had the opportunity to pass children on the playgrounds of various schools who made posters to cheer us on.  We heard applause around every corner thanking us for what we were doing.  I received hugs from women standing on sidewalks, scarves wrapped around their heads to hide their bald scalps, crying and thanking us for what we were doing for them.  I met husbands and children who had lost their wives and mothers to breast cancer.  How could I complain about a sore muscle or a blister that needed a band-aid?

So, this is how "Mamas with a Mission" came to be.  After walking in 2007, I wanted to start a group of strong, determined, and motivated mothers in Lancaster who wanted to help me spread the word about prevention, finding a cure, and fighting this awful disease.  We are determined to meet our goal of $10,000 by October.  And, I cannot wait for my fellow "Mamas" to have the experience of a lifetime like I did two years ago.

This is why I walk.....because I can't turn my back on all of the women, men, mothers, fathers, and children who are affected by this disease every day.  They may not be standing on every street corner screaming their story, but they are out there every day trying to survive. 

To find out more about The Breast Cancer 3-Day and how you can help, go to www.the3day.org

She couldn't wait to make her appearance, and we couldn't wait to welcome her into this world. Having arrived a few days early, our little girl is finally here,  ... healthy, beautiful and filling our hearts with joy. As so many moms and dads can understand, I look at our new child and become overwhelmed. She's so real, but a miracle in every way. And all I can do is think about the many reasons we have to be thankful for this person and the moment she came into our lives. So here I will gush ...  

I'm grateful to my family, who sped to the scene to care for our first child for the duration of the delivery and recovery. How great is it to have a sister who will cheerily show up at 2:00 a.m. to sleep on your couch, a brother-in-law who delivers peanut butter cup blizzards to your bedside, and a mother and father who will spoil your firstborn rotten while Mommy and Daddy are temporarily missing?  

... and, of course, a husband, who grimaced with every contraction and gamely pretends he knows nothing of the embarassing bodily fluids, ridiculous faces and strange sounds I was making for an hour.  

I'm thankful for the numbing sensation that epidurals provide, and to the brave anesthesiologist who conceded to give it to me at 9 centimeters.   

I'm appreciative of the mystical qualities of a jalepeno hot dog, which I ate the day I went into labor and, I'm convinced, is what set everything into motion.  

I am impressed by the quality of health care that is offered here in Lancaster. Everyone we encountered - from doctors to nurses to dining services staff - cared for us with warmth and professionalism.    

I will attempt to appreciate the power of a mirror to motivate a woman in labor to push harder. But in the end, I will still look away.  

I am overwhelmed by the generosity of friends, who are showering us with meals, playdates for our daughter ... even cleaning services (although the neurotic side of me wonders if that's a hint). Maybe it does "take a village."  

And lastly, I will be forever grateful that we were blessed with another child so full of life, even at 4-days-old. It is this feeling of gratitude that makes me eagerly reach out for her every time, even at the ungodly hour of 3:00 a.m. with sore boobs and swollen bottom.    

My blog ends here. Thanks for taking the time to read it over the weeks leading up to our daughter's birth. For those of you who are about to experience what we just have, I wish you happiness and health as your family grows.

The house is full of family as we get ready for my nephew's wedding, which is tomorrow.Off to a good start. My sister, brother-in-law and kids are in from Oak Park, Ill., and staying with us. The dog got so excited last night she had several accidents. It was so hot in the guest bedroom that my brother-in-law slept on the living room floor and my sister on the sofa. The dog, at least, will have a respite; she's going to the kennel today. Meanwhile, the humans in the household will debate all day about who's going to sleep where tonight. They're either going to need to take the master bedroom, or I'm buying a fan. Ahhh, family.

Anyway, the cousins who are staying with us, ages 8 (nephew) and 11 (niece), are very excited. They and my daughter are in the wedding party. It's going to be so heart-warming to see them wear something other than shorts and T-shirts. And because people other than their moms are doing their hair, the girls will succumb to any hair style that tops their heads. A reason to be joyful! So it's off to pick up tuxes, drop off the dog, stop by a few stores for some last-minute shopping, prepare for the rehearsal and then on to the rehearsal dinner. In-between, we'll take time to reminisce about our nephew. I vividly remember that it was just yesterday that he was a 6-year-old running around the yard with his friends, and delighting his parents. He still delights, but when did he get to be such a fine, young man?!

Week 36: Eat, Drink and Be Merry  

Yesterday was crazy. After downing my fourth cup of espresso, I jumped into the car and, while neglecting to fasten my seatbelt, broke speed limits to get to my kick-boxing class on time. Later, after a near-miss with my hair-dryer over a sink of water, my nerves were so on edge that I had to pop a couple of sleeping pills with a glass of vodka just to get some shuteye.  

Actually, I didn't do any of those things. But from the reactions I sometimes get over the things I eat and drink, you'd think that I was in fact leading a reckless rockstar lifestyle that was in total disregard of my health or that of the baby growing inside of me.  

I eat sushi. And funky cheeses. And cookie and pancake batter that have raw eggs in them. Occasionally, I'll down a hot dog or some deli meats. And, yes, I even have a glass of wine or a beer with a nice meal. All of these are well-known no-no's during pregnancy. The threat of e-coli, listeria, nitrates, fetal alcohol syndrome and the many other dangers that lurk in our food and drink hang over our heads like a guillotine. Even Chinese food - laden with MSG - is considered a walk on the wild side.  While many well-respected sources warn you away from these things, I have to wonder if we're being just a little over-cautious.  

I'm not trying to make light of this. What we take into our bodies during pregnancy is a very important matter. But I feel like common sense and a good dose of moderation play a role as well.   

Common sense tells us that chowing down on a hot dog from a dirty street cart on the back streets of Philly might be a little risky. Moderation isn't best demonstrated by getting tipsy over a bottle of wine with your hubby after the kids go to bed.   

Like many of my other friends, I abided by the standard dietary restrictions during my first pregnancy. But now, as I talk with other seasoned moms-to-be, I find that many of them are breaking some rules and actually enjoying what they consume over their nine months of pregnancy (once they get over that God-awful first trimester). Having learned about their bodies and their babies the first time around, they understand that by carefully considering their food and drink choices, they can continue to enjoy some of the things they love - in moderation, of course.  

I love bringing this topic up with people like my parents and in-laws. They'll confess to everything they did wrong during their pregnancy and afterward - smoking, drinking, holding their kids on their laps in the car (car seats? who had car seats??) - and then quickly point to their grown children and announce, "They turned out all right!"  

True enough, though that's not proof that you can go out and let loose during pregnancy. But maybe it goes to show how far we've come in understanding the well-being of our bodies and babies, as well as our limitations. Perhaps with a little consideration and care, we can relax at the dinner table and not demonize the things we love.  

I'll raise a glass to that!  

Week 35: Walking Catastrophe

 
I never had been a big believer in "pregnancy brain" ... the idea that we constantly forget things during pregnancy. But with our second child, I'm starting to reconsider.

 
It's not like I'm forgetting doctor appointments or to call my friends on their birthdays; I'm forgetting basic living tasks. For example, I'm a stickler for locking everything up anytime we leave the house. But these days a window will be left open or a door unlocked. I can't begin to calculate how much time I've wasted driving back to our home because it dawned on me that I left the back door wide open. The neighbors must think I'm crazy. I pull away from our house, only to pull in again 5 minutes later and make a mad dash for the front door.

 
That's not like me.
 

And if there's "pregnancy brain," what about "pregnancy balance?" While painting the baby's room recently, I literally fell backwards into a wet wall from a standing position. I hadn't been standing on one leg. There was no strong gust of wind to knock me over. I just spontaneously fell over.

 
When I think back to my first pregnancy, I used to walk into walls. My co-workers would look at me with pity as I crashed into door jams and cubicle walls. I couldn't even walk and talk at the same time or I would inevitably trip over something.

 
What I'm wondering is ... once we have kids, does memory loss and the feeling of unbalance ever really go away? My husband teases me for always forgetting something essential ... my wallet, my keys (or better yet, where are my keys?), my cell phone. But ask me for a Hello Kitty bandaid or bag of Rainbow fishies, I'm your gal. Did I remember our daughter's sunscreen and hat? You betcha. Blankie? Never travel without it.

 
And what of balance? While our minds are contemplating all the things we should be remembering, in between driving to dance classes, soccer games and band practices, are we ever achieving a sense of equilibrium? To me, at least, it always seems a little out of reach no matter how organized we make our lives. We put our kids' needs ahead of our own every day, and it begins even before they come into this world.

 
So if you see a pregnant woman whose backside is covered in "sea grass" green paint, be kind. She's undoubtedly suffering from something for which there is no cure.

To answer Melissa's comment...Rapho Township Park in Mount Joy. 

To get there:  283, get off at the exit for 772 and go toward Mt. Joy.  At the first light, turn left and a short way back you will see it.

This park is always a special treat for my girls and worth the drive. 

It is a new park--I think this is just the second year it has been completed.  My favorite part is that there is no mulch--all rubber under the equipment.  This not only gives access to children of all abilities, but my little crusier does so well and enjoys more than just the swings at this park.

There are two sections--one for younger children and then one for older children--both with equipment that entice the grown-ups to jump in and play.  In the toddler area are the famed "spinning chairs" which look like little buckets to sit in, but as soon as you give it a little push, it spins you around!  In the older section is a great inclined wheel that you can walk on (like a treadmill) or sit on and push with your feet.  If you check out this park, don't forget what Katie calls the "skateboard ramp."  I attached a photo with her on, but it is a small platform for your feet attached to a track with a place to hold on with your hands.  I've seen tweens at the park going nuts over this.

Each section is semi-enclosed by fence to keep kids from wandering into the parking lot and it appears that RESTROOMS (not outhouses!) are nearly complete! 

Not only is this a fantastic park, but it has several ball fields and loops of walking trails.

If you have been here...what is your favorite part?  If you haven't...I hope you check it out soon! 

p.s.  if you go during daytime hours...continue down 772 to The Country Store...my kids love the bulk candy here!  Our latest favorite is the graham cracker pretzels!

 Swings in the toddler section:

Equipment in the toddler section:

Updated version of the older horses to ride on:

Scootering on the awesome sidewalks:

Maggie crusing on equipment in the older kid section while Katie turns the crank that moves the little cart:

Kids on moving cart:

Super fun skateboarding: